Only You {Shawn Mendes}

23.

*SKIPPING 2 DAYS SO NOW THEY'RE IN FLORIDA :)*

Shawn and I haven't talked in two days and now we're arguing. It's ironic how I have to share a room with him.

"How the hell is this all my fault!" I yelled at him. He blames this all on me but everyone is saying it both of our faults. "YOU. KISSED. HIM." Shawn says slower so I can 'understand'. "Correction he kissed me and I kissed back. But you kissed HER." I say and he glares at me. "You don't get it do you? I kissed Savannah because you kissed that Jeff guy. I did it out of jealousy Skyler, Do you know how much it hurt to see you with another guy?!?" 

"Shawn I was jealous too." I said calmly trying not to cry. "Jealous of what Skyler?!?" He yelled.

"It would sound stupid if I said it." I said looking down at the ground hoping something or someone would interrupt this conversation. "Really Skyler? Just say it." But after he said that his phone rang and it was that Savannah girl. "Really Shawn five hearts next to her name? Whatever, have fun talking to that whore." 

"She's just as much of a whore as you are." He said picking up the phone. I stormed into the bathroom with tears falling from my eyes. I looked in the mirror and saw the monster staring back at me. I was wearing my glasses, I had my hair in a messy bun, I was wearing Cam's sweatpants and a hoodie and makeup was running down my face. I rolled up my sleeve and saw all the scars from yesterday. Without thinking about it I grabbed the blade and started making more cuts along my arm crying over every single thing that was wrong with life. Each cut deeper and longer than the next. I cleaned up the small mess I made and hid the blade in my makeup bag. I took off the makeup and walked out the bathroom to see Shawn standing at the door. 

"Were... Were you crying?" He asks and I just walk past him, he grabs my left arm and I wince in pain. He turns my arm around but I pull it away. "Skyler what's on your arm?" Shawn asked worried. "Nothing now leave me alone." I say walking away. "I'm gonna tell Cameron." He said and and I slowly turned on my heel to face him. "No your not." I say and he crosses his arms while leaning up against the door frame. "What's on your arm?" He asks. "We're not even dating anymore so it's not like you have to pretend to care." I say to avoid this conversation but nothing was working. "Tell me what's on your arm or I call for Cameron." He threatens. "Nothing" I roll up my right sleeve and he moves closer reaching out for my left arm. I slowly back away then run. I run out the room and I almost got to the door when Shawn grabbed me by my waist. I began kicking but nothing worked. "RAPE!" I yelled while kicking Shawn, He dropped me and I started to laugh. Cameron came out of his room looking at confused.

"Shawn tried to rape me Cam." I said about to 'cry' I walked over to Cam and 'cried' into his chest. "Cameron I swear she's lying to you." Shawn says and I couldn't help but laugh, it was funny how Cam was starting to believe me too. I should be an actress. 

"I was trying to see what Skyler had on her wrist cause when I grabbed it she winced in pain." Shawn said and Cam looked at me. Cam carefully grabbed my left arm and rolled up the sleeve revealing old and new cuts. Both Cam and Shawn ran their fingers through their hair. "Is this because of me?" Shawn asked looking at me with tears in his eyes. "Shawn-"

"Is it because of me?!" He asked while raising his voice. I slowly backed away with his eyes still on me. "No." I say and he shakes his head wiping away the tears in his eyes. "Then why did you do it Skyler?" Cam asked.

"I-I don't know" I lied to them both. "It's because of me." Shawn said walking away. "Shawn I didn't do this because of you, there was so much other shit going on." I say and Shawn turns back around to face me. "You walked into the bathroom after I called you a whore, and I didn't mean it. That's why I was standing there when you came out because I wanted to apologize." He said and a single tear fell from his eyes "I basically caused you to do that to yourself and I'm so sorry." He walked into the room slamming the door behind him. 

"He can't blame himself for this." I say and Cam pulls me in for a hug. "How long Sky?" 

"It's been like three days if you count today." I sigh. "You've been doing so well these past few months what happened?" 

"Love is what happened. Cody and I are officially out of each others lives and there's hate because I was dating their beloved Shawn Mendes. But then there's Shawn, and I don't know how I feel. It's just a shit load of emotions that I feel towards him."

"How do you feel now?" Cam asked and I looked up at him. "What is this a therapy session?" I asked slightly laughing. "No, but it wouldn't kill you to let out your emotions." He said. "Yeah well look where that led us." I say sarcastically and Cam crossed his arms. "I'm kidding." I say with my hand up in defeat. "I just want the best for you. Can you try to stop again for me and the guys?" He asked and I agreed. 

"Is Kyle still coming today? I miss him." I say and Cam laughs. "You two were always fighting about something and now all of a sudden you miss him?" Cam asks and I nod. Kyle and I's relationship was something. We could fight over the smallest things and be mad at each other until we forget what we were mad about but at the end of the day we know that we'll always have each other's backs no matter what happens. "Yeah, it's not the same fighting with you. You give up to easily."

"Whatever." He says playfully messing up my already messy hair. "But go talk to Shawn. I know for a fact that you both need each other." He says and I nod. I walk towards Shawn and I's room and when I reached for the door I stopped. I turned around to find Cameron with a soda in his hands. "Cameron?" I say and he looks at me. "Thanks for always being there for me." I say and he smiles back at me. "Anytime." He says and I walk in the room.

Shawn was laying in his bed listening to Ed Sheeran. "Shawn?" I say sitting on the bed next to him. He turned his head to look at me. His eyes were bloodshot, his face was redder than a tomato and his cheeks were stained with tears. "I'm sorry." I say letting a tear slip out of my eye. I hate seeing him like this. There is something about him that makes me this way, I was never the type of person to cry over a guy or express my emotions. He's changing me for the better.

You never realize how much something means to you until it's gone and now that I look at it, the guys were right. I need Shawn.