Winning Over Slytherin | Draco Malfoy

Chapter 61: The Last First Day

T H E   L A S T   F I R S T   D A Y

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If I would've known how much it hurt to lose you, I would've put my pride aside and spoken to you on our first day back. Please forgive me.
~~~

Draco's POV

I looked around nervously as I got off the train, luggage in hand. I waited until the very last person got off the train, and felt disappointment fill inside me when I failed to see the only person I truly wanted to see.

"Coming, Draco?" I heard Parkinson call behind me and sighed, nodding and following her inside.

This summer has been lonely. Despite being surrounded by people, not even my mother could make me feel less lonely, my only true comfort was the time I spent playing with my owl, Magnus. He seemed to sense my sadness and was more accepting of my affection, he usually hated me petting the top of his head and would try to bite me, but this time he actually didn't.  Even my pet feels pity for me... I'm as pathetic as my father would always say.

I sat in the Slytherin table of the dining hall, next to my group of friends that Kat greatly dislikes, because frankly, these are the only people I have right now. I watched as the first years got sorted into their houses but couldn't truly concentrate, I still hadn't seen her. Where is she? Coming back to Hogwarts was mandatory this year, an order mandated by the dark lord himself, if she doesn't come she is in very deep trouble. But she wouldn't like it anyway, this isn't the Hogwarts any of us remember, the first years weren't even properly celebrated. I continued to glance at the doors and felt the pit in my stomach grow every second she wasn't there. Finally, we got our food in front of us and I made an effort to avoid the lasagna. Eating her favorite food doesn't sound like the best idea to get over her. Though that might not even be possible.

Just as I twirled some spaghetti on my plate, I heard the double doors open and turned around, only to see Ginny and Kat coming in side by side, with Alecto and Amycus Carrow 'escorting' them in. I clenched my fists tightly at the sight, the Carrows were pushing them inside, digging their wands into the girls backs, though it must have been painful they played it off like it wasn't. But I know my Kat... well not 'my' Kat anymore... but nevertheless I know her, she's in pain right now.

And still, she looks so beautiful. Having not seen her in almost four months might have been a more normal thing, except this time it was completely different, because this time we're officially broken up. Still, I have eyes, so I couldn't help but admire the change over the summer. I don't know how she does it, but every summer she manages to look more and more beautiful. Her mid-length, wavy, raven black hair was a change from her usual long burgundy hair. Despite the haircut being minimal, to anyone who truly knew her it was clearly visible. And the black hair contrasts with her skin tone perfectly. Everything about her is always just... wow. I can't even put it into words... just... damn.

Alecto whispered something into her ear and shoved her towards our table, making her glare at Alecto and mumble something about being able to walk.

She sat down on the far edge of the table, and despite obviously wanting to be alone, was immediately surrounded by people... boys if I must be specific. Montague, Blaise, and Pucey immediately slid next to her, bombarding her with insignificant small talk, waiting on an opening with her. I rolled my eyes and looked away. I can't watch this. It's disgusting. I tried my best to avoid looking at her, but that didn't work. Everytime I looked over at her, despite her smiling politely and talking to those guys, I could see the sadness in her eyes and felt guilty. Guilty for being one of the people to cause that sadness.

I know about what happened during the summer. I know that death eaters crashed the party she was in, trying to find Potter. She's always in so much bloody danger because of him. It's not fair to her, or to any of his friends really, but I care about her. She shouldn't be dragged down with him. Then again that's why we broke up, she didn't want me to drag her down. Some of the other death eaters interrogated the Weasleys and just about anyone else they could get their hands on.

Including her.

It hadn't been pretty, my father said they were furious about how they revealed nothing, as if they knew nothing. He even went as far as to questioning me if I knew anything since Kat was my girlfriend, and that's when I had the lovely conversation about how she had turned into my ex-girlfriend. He smiled at hearing that a "mudblood" was no longer my girlfriend, that my "phase" had passed.

If she was just a phase then why does it hurt so much?

A couple moments passed by and it was finally time to head up to our dorms, this time the Carrows led, there were no more of us prefects. I also noticed that Kat hadn't eaten anything. That particular fact bothered me. But I can't say anything. I shouldn't worry about it. She's not my girlfriend anymore, it's none of my business.

But that girl loves to eat, I've never met someone who loves to eat as much as she does, that's what I love... loved... about her. She has to eat. I waited for more people to leave and grabbed a napkin, placing an apple in it and stashing it in my pocket.

I headed up to the dorms, following the other Slytherins and messily shoved my stuff in the drawers. I stared at the made bed and hastily messed it up. She always made me make my bed. Well, she's not here anymore. She chose to leave. I sat on the messy bed for a couple minutes before I sighed, got up, and made the bed again. Stupid neat habits.

After laying on the bed and rereading the same page of Anna Karenina over and over without being able to internalize anything from what I had actually read, I decided to get up and take a shower before bed. As I felt the hot water's comfort, I still couldn't shake the feeling in the pit of my stomach. I mean, she's here. You saw her. She's fine. So why do I feel this? After spending twenty minutes in the shower I realized it: I feel like this because despite her being so close to me, she's never been so far away. With that realization in my head, I stepped out of the shower and changed into some simple sweats and a black shirt, not bothering to dry my hair, and took the apple I grabbed from the dining hall in my hand.

Mal's POV

I took my time drying my hair once I was in my room, doing my best to focus on scrunching it up with a shirt instead of a towel to minimize the frizz. Doing my best to focus on anything really, except for the fact that my sister and friends are somewhere out there, and I don't even know if they're alive, my friends in here are also in danger of getting harassed by the Carrrows, my ex boyfriend lives a couple feet away from me, and to top it off: this school has gone to absolute shit. Anything to take my mind off of all that.

I suddenly heard some shuffling outside my room and immediately grabbed my wand, opening my door quickly and raising my wand threateningly, but there was no one there. I looked down to the ground and sighed when I saw a single green apple, then looked to the side and saw a flash of platinum blonde hair leave. I hesitated for a minute before closing the door, leaving the apple outside.

I tried to sleep, and tossed and tumbled in bed, before I sighed and got up. I opened the door and took the apple inside, taking a bite out of it and enjoying it's taste. Though not enjoying it's taste as much as I enjoyed knowing exactly who gave it to me.

I know you hurt me, and lied to me, and betrayed me, but still a day can't go by without me thinking about you.