Sanders Sides Oneshots

Liar Liar {Demus}

Third Person

"WASSUP B!TCHES!!!" Remus yells as soon as he kicks down the door. This happened almost every time him and Remy went out drinking together but that doesn't mean Roman has to like it. After all, he was the one that ended up fixing the door, usually as an excuse to not take care of drunk Remus.

"I believe it's your turn to babysit him," Logan informs Janus, barely looking up long enough to see Remus's intoxicated state.

"No, I'm pretty sure it was Patton's turn," He says cooly, lying through his teeth.

"More like you're sure pretty!" Remus comments loudly, laying half-on, half-off the couch after failing to jump over the back.

"Actually kiddo we have it written down on this little chart thing, and it says it's your turn," Patton points out, looking at the chart on the fridge. It was Roman's idea to repurpose one of those dollar store chore charts just for this.

He pauses for a second, "The chart is lying," He says before anyone could realize he was lying once again.

"Oh suck it up you whiny b!tch," Virgil tells him.

"Or better yet, suck m-"

"NOT in front of Patton!" Virgil shouts, covering the aforementioned friend's ears. Patton smiled awkwardly, blissfully unaware as Remus finished his innuendo, "We already had to teach him what 'the devil's tango' was slang for."

"Exactly, so take my trash can of a brother upstairs before he ruins padre's innocence," Roman calls from the entryway.

Logan nods, "For once I agree with Roman. Not only is Remus much more likely to speak his mind when intoxicated, his hangover will be much more bearable if he 'sleeps it off'. The sooner you get him to sleep, the better."

Looks like there was no getting out of it; he would be stuck taking care of his ridiculous, embarrassing crush. He sighed heavily as he dragged Remus upstairs, getting no help from the drunk man. He might as well be dragging a dead body, a sensation he had gotten much too familiar with since meeting Remus.

He all but tosses the man onto his bed, wanting to stay a safe distance away from the sheets that some foul creature had probably taken up residence in, "You stay there while I go get some water. And if you're going to pass out do it face down so you don't choke on your own vomit," Janus warns him.

"Wait wait wait," He says, sitting up quickly, "That shhounds really boring, like even more boring than listening to Roman sing."

Janus stares at him, "I'm not going to help you overthrow a small country."

"I wasn't gonna say that! I was gonna suggest that you stay here and we make this place even more messy~" Remus replies proudly.

The snake-ish man blushes brightly, having no trouble understanding Remus's innuendos by now, "No."

"What?! Why not??" Remus whines, "It wouldn't be that bad," He pulls Janus into a passionate kiss for emphasis, "See? I've been waiting to do that forever and it was great!"

While Janus's mind tried to process what just happened, he realized something, "Hold on...you're not slurring your words anymore, and when you're actually drunk you wouldn't be able to pull me towards you like that... You're not actually drunk are you?!"

"Well damn, I was hoping to get past first base before you realized that," The rat man admits, "But now that you've figured out my genius ruse-" It was far from genius, "What do you think?"

"What do I think? I think you're trying to get in my pants because there's no way in hell that you actually have a crush," Remus didn't do crushes, he did one night stands. The pan man had been caught waking next to all kinds of people, most of whom that Janus had to kick out in the morning.

"But I do," He shrugs, "On you. If you expected some sappy-a$$ confession then you're clearly talking to the wrong twin, but I like you, and this seemed like a good way to make you realize that while also checking if we're compatible in bed."

"Oh my god..." Janus mutters, sitting down on the edge of his bed, "I will admit, I like you too. That does not mean that I want to sleep with you right now."

Remus nods, "Okay, then how about an actual date? We could go to the zoo or something and look at snakes."

Janus hesitantly puts his hand on Remus's, only slightly worried that he'll catch something from him, "That sounds perfect."

A/N: Finally finished this! I don't know why this took so long to do