Unforgettable Fond [MiChaeng Fanfic]

Chapter 25

Chaeyoung 

"Chaeyoung.." 

I let go of the hug to look at her. She looked at me too. 

"I am so happy today. The past few weeks was pure happiness." 

She stated. I smiled at her. 

"I want to thank you for giving me this favor. This opportunity to be happy again" 

She continued.

I also wanted to thank her for giving me this precious memory that I'll cherish for the rest of my life. 

"Chaeyoung.. I can't say I'm already in love with you.. But I'm almost there."

She smiled sweetly at me. 

I can feel her sincerity and it's giving me both happiness and pain. 

"I know this isn't love yet.. But let's - - -" 

She stopped when I held her hand. 

I pointed at the night sky and she looked up to see. 

"You are like that moon, and I am one of those stars around you." 

I paused and closed my eyes. 

"You're the only one I can see.. But you have a lot of choices Mina. 

I am just one of those billion stars you'll find. 

Don't settle for me." 

I said. I don't know if I explained it right but Mina got quiet. 

"What if it's you that I want?" 

She asked after a long silence. 

"If I'm the one you want, you'll find someone you'll need, you'll love. Want is not the only thing that makes people stay"

I answered. I don't know where this conversation is heading but I wanted to tell her everything. 

"Mina, I'm part of your past." 

I finally said. 

"I'm not just someone whom you see at the University and give greetings to." 

I added. I'm still looking up at the sky. 

I'm trying to hold back my tears by looking up. 

Is this the compensation of the two weeks full of happiness? 

Everything really comes with a great price. 

"Tell me everything Chaeyoung, I'll listen."

She uttered. She made me face her. 

I can see her confused eyes questioning me. 

Sometimes I wonder if is it better to forget everything? 

But I always answer that with, if the cause of the pain is worth remembering, I'd rather live with it everyday. 

"I'm that someone who caused the great damage on your leg. You saved me from that accident. 

I'm sorry. 

You jumped off to save me that night." 

I said. I didn't get any reaction from Mina. 

2 minutes, but she's just staring at me. 

"Were you just here with me because you're guilty?" 

She asked after a long silence. 

"Of---" 

I was cut off when she spoke again. 

"All of those moments with me is just because you feel guilty?" 

"You planned this?" 

"Am I that pitiful in your eyes?" 

"I asked you before, but you never told me." 

"Is that the reason why you can't tell me anything?" 

"Is that the reason why you're convincing me to undergo therapy because you feel guilty?"

"Chaeyoung, was that it? You did all of this just so you could at least say that you did something for me?! 

That you did something to make yourself feel less guilty?" 

Every question was like an arrow that is slowly piercing my heart. No, my soul.

For the first time, I questioned myself.. 

Was it really just because I feel guilty? 

But, I know it's love. 

It's love.. 

That's the main reason why I did those. 

It's not because I'm guilty. 

But I can't answer her. 

She waited for an answer but I can't utter any single word. 

She laughed and was about to walk away when I held her arm. 

I pulled her for a hug. She didn't try to break free. 

"I'm sorry." 

I said but she didn't answer me. 

It's not a question in the first place. 

"Are you also the one who made those drawings?" 

I froze when she asked me that. 

"I actually thought it was all from Jeongyeon.. But when I came to her condo, she doesn't  have any painting.

I asked her why but she said she doesn't know how to draw. 

It slipped from her mouth but I still believed that it was all from her." 

She paused and let go of the hug. 

"Was that all from you?" 

She asked calmly. I nodded. 

"Really.. You really made me look dumb, Chaeyoung. 

Playing with my feelings like that? 

Was it fun?" 

She asked. I can't look her in the eye. 

I kept my head down. 

"Please.. Don't let me see you again." 

Those seven words ended me. 

It ended all my emotions. 

Mina left without hearing anything from me aside from those few phrases I said. 

I wanted to tell her how I feel, but does it matter? 

It was mostly my fault.

It isn't her fault that my heart beats for her. 

It isn't her fault that I love her.

It was all my fault. 

I touched my face but I can't feel any liquid coming from my eyes. 

I can't cry. 

I can't even cry. 

I started walking to the edge of the wall. I looked down to see the things down.

A lot of cars. Trees. 

They look so small from here.

Should I just jump? 

I bowed my head to see the surroundings down. 

Should I just end my life here?