Until Skies Taste the Sun (Lost Series #1)

Kabanata 26

Pain and Creep

I feel like I wanna go numb feeling how fast the thump of my heart is, habang nasa biyahe kami ngayon pauwi. Tumigil pa kami sa nearest gasoline station we spot para makagamit si Third ng comfort room. I don't know how to face Mom and Dad after knowing everything.

"I feel regretful now." 

I then feel a warm hand, covering mine. Third slightly squeezed my hand and soon after caressed me with his thumb.

I sighed. "Why naman?"

Tumingin siya saglit sa akin before averting back his gaze on the road. "I shouldn't come after your parents, because that was their job, and.. not mine. I... just couldn't peacefully sleep every night, thinking about how emotional could you possibly be." 

He took a simple glance again at me with remorse in his eyes. "Naisip ko kasi na baka hindi mo agad maintindihan kapag binigla ka ng parents mo. I was thinking that maybe you'll block your ears from understanding and you'll just stick with your emotions-"

"That's what you think of me? A drama queen and a nagging-"

"Not like that..." he butted in so fast. "I saw how vulnerable you could be after the thing with Mia. I just know that you are fragile, babe... And I don't want you to feel so bad at it at first."

I warmly smiled. I  know what he's trying to point out. He wants me to ready and prepared because he exactly knew how weak I can be. He knew me that well. Dahil tama ang sinabi niya. High possibility.. na magsarado nga ang understanding ko sa kung ano man ang ibibigay na explanation nina Mom and Dad. Couldn't be reprehensible. Because that's how it goes when you have too much emotion in you. 

Kahit gaano pa kabait, gano'n kalawak ang pang-unawa... even when you are so smart to figure out everything and to realize the gravity of the circumstances, hindi na kayang pigilan na pangunahan ng emotions. Dahil mismong sa oras na 'yon ay hindi na kayang kontrolin ang kahit na ano. You were suddenly out of you. And then, you'll just regret everything you've done after knowing the lesson behind it and how strong it taught you to be.

And that's what made Third came up with everything after summarizing and concluding it beforehand. He surely does know the feeling cuz that was exactly what he encountered during the revelation for him. My heart skipped a beat after knowing na ako ang tumatakbo sa mind niya sa mga panahong 'yon. It's a really good feeling to appreciate the things that the people who care for you can do. They warn you.

His decision was right. And I'm really grateful for that. I can't tell that he actually preceded my parents. He didn't say a thing or two after telling me our business was already failing. He quickly announced that is for my parent's side to explain. At labas na siya roon. 

He just really wants to guard my feelings. That's all.

"And I'm really thankful for that, Noah. You really are.. a good boyfriend to consider your girlfriend's feelings.. on top of everything. On top of you, on top of your guilt... Thank you..."