Until Skies Taste the Sun (Lost Series #1)

Kabanata 46

State

"You have a safe drive... Goodnight, Third."

Bumeso ako kay Third and gave one sweeet smile before ko tuluyang sinara ang pinto. Medyo late na kami nakauwi dahil natupad din ang wish ko na night drive. Drive- thru was also fulfilled. These I'd keep and never forget when I leave for home.

My feelings and vulnerabilities were always served as proof that change is constant. Parang kanina lang sa seashore, umiiyak ako, nalulungkot... at ayaw nang umuwi pagkakanta niya. But then when I think about Lucas, my heart aches more. The thought I actually want to go home reminded the confusion in my heart.

Kanina... habang kumakain kami ng fries at chicken fillet sa sasakyan, parang bumalik ako sa nakaraan. I remember the love and joy those foods brought to us. Kung dati, para sa pag-iibigan ang dalang saya... ngayon ay dahil sa pagkakaibigan na. That somehow escorted me to find my lost track at peace again.

I know he'll always be my first love. And I accepted now he's not going to be my last. I came to figure out the effortless love we could justly offer to each other freely. I'm happy I can just be his good friend... at ganoon din siya sa'kin.

Minahal ko siya. Hanggang ngayon, mahal ko pa'rin siya. But this love I am talking... is nowhere near to what I have for Lucas.

I conquered it. I've finally found the answers to what my heart bothers.

I really cherish Third. I know I'll always love him. But it's not ever gonna be what I have found with Lucas over the years and now.

Kung before siguro, hindi ganito... Pero dahil may Lucas na ako, at may anak na ako... Third has never been so right. Alam ko na ang mga bagay na magpapasaya talaga sa akin. The healing years talked about it... these all.

Sa payapang nararamdaman ko ngayon, magaan ang buong pakiramdam ko para simulan ang pag- iimpake ng mga mauunang gamit ko sa luggage. I sent already a note to my fiance. A selfie of me with my things, and my message for him.

To: Caro

Excited ka? Yey I am... Babawi ako my dear, I promise. Wait for me, ah? Si baby excited na rin na umuwi. I hope you're eating and brushing your teeth thrice a day. When I'm finally home, dont worry..ill always slap your ass to remind you of that. Maalagaan na ulit kita. I love you.

Pinatay ko ang phone and then I continued on my business. I already collected all the books I purchased here in the States, to place them on a box of the things I bought at a good quality and price in Target. Napabili rin ako nga ng little pieces of amount lang naman ng kitchen tools sa IKEA.

It's not that our house in the Philippines just took the last labor this month. Actually, matagal na kaming nakapagpagawa ni Lucas ng bahay sa land property niya sa Batangas. About a year ago, and kahit papaano... nagawa namang tirahan ng isang buwan noong magkaroon kami ng vacation leave sa work I just want to add more tools in the house.

And I have been constantly enjoying searching for things online to buy here for some consecutive time... say at least one of that served as coping mechanism for reducing my stress I just had gone through a hard time reclaiming back due to struggling intense emotions, thinking so much. I feel like I wasn't always yet ready to leave, but my profound emotions hammered me times about what I substantially stood in need of. It says I should leave. I must. Because in the depth of it, my peace is wanting it.