Kabanata 31

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Forever


I ran as fast as I could when I glanced at Third's shadow on my back. My heart aches when I heard him saying, please to the guard.


"We're very sorry, Sir. Bawal talagang magpapasok ng outsider 'pag hindi pa dismissal. Before, allowed pa...pero iba na po ngayon, e. Intayin niyo nalang po d'yan sa labas.. if you want."


Or is it me who's cruel?


Umiling ako at inalala kung bakit dapat ako galit. He has the chance to save me from lies but he didn't. I feel betrayed when he knew all along how I could feel this low and anxious about my dreams.


I realized I just can't do things I absolutely don't want... I can before... But after this?


Inaamin kong masiyado akong naging overwhelm noon in having the freedom to choose my program kahit pa nga parang taliwas sa akin ang sinasabi ng iba.


How problematic is it for my parents nga naman. The one and only heiress of Zinbergh's picked a far way. Everybody in the circle knows that... at, hindi man lang ako nakaramdan ng pressure before. 


It lingers in my mind but I didn't see to it na may frontier talaga ang lahat. I almost forgot who I really am... that I'm now facing this consequence.


I sighed.


I found myself sitting on the bench somewhere here on campus. All I could see are the greeny trees and leaves in my sight, except for the bright blue from the clear sky. It somehow calms me. 


Yet by still thinking of how the overlapping problem arises and stunned me these successive days, tears never missed my eye.


"Lover's quarrel?"


Hearing that voice, my heart hushed for no reason.


"What are you doing here?" 


I jumbled the things in my bag to find a tissue, and hastily wiped my face to cover my tears.


"Wala kang panyo?" I felt him sit sa katabing bench nitong sa akin.


"I forgot." 


I saw him stand up in my peripheral vision while bailing out something from his pocket. A handkerchief.


"Here." Inabot niya sa'kin. "It'll do better than tissue."


I get it without looking at him. My eyes were fixed on the front. "Thank you.. Lucas."


Naramdaman kong umupo ulit siya sa puwesto niya kanina before talking. "Avi," panimula niya.


I stopped myself from looking at him pero hindi ko nagawa. I angled my face instead.


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