Until Skies Taste the Sun (Lost Series #1)

Kabanata 43

Torture

"He's, right..."

Mama glanced quickly at Third, sitting on a sola sofa, before returning her gaze to me. She's still holding me in her arms with an embrace. Mahaba ang sofa pero sobrang dikit na dikit kaming dalawa sa gitnang part. Yet I like to be honest I want how clingy is she. I miss her. This is somethin' I miss about her.

"It's really a boil in the ocean for us being back in the country prior to as planned if... it weren't for the agreement. Third was a toddler at that time when the pair of the family agreed to the decision."

She once again looked at Third. The idea of the latter nodding his head in silence had panned out to me that he already knew about this content. Third's like reassuring his mother it's all okay now. That I should hear the story this time.

My hold on Mama's hand defined more as I give her a smile of assurance. I told her I'm okay... That it was all fine for me when I saw her disruptive eyes worried about how I'm going to talk back and react.

Right then, it was as if my heart was stabbed at the thought. The thought of this. I made Mama all these years carrying turmoil and high level of fear whenever she looked at me because of what happened before. She was afraid to get hurt because seeing me hurt and hearing my disappointment to her hurts her more. It really sucks to think about how words can affect people. You could only ever apologize; never could you take them back.

"It's never easy on us to meddle with our children's choice of love. We're just grateful you two reached the point... and just feel so lucky that things go smoothly on plan without us starting any move."

Something struck my heart. Remembering Third and I are two in love people before... And now hearing this... is too much late now.

"I admit. When we were back in the country during the time, we were supposed to stay for a month until Third get used to be in your-- or at least your parent's presence. But the reception is not making any ceremony when literally, his actions made clear he won't just really take a time of himself alone to your attention," Mama heartily laughed which make me smile. And I can just see from my peripheral vision how Third rolled his eyes. "The need to fulfill was for us to always be there beside him," Mama said.

She's right. Third wouldn't even dare talk lines of sentences to me. He would not invite me casually but when he does, his line would be, 'Mom told me so '...

"It drove us to leave the country earlier against the plan for him to at least consider what he can't fairly think of doing or.. seeing. But, believe me, sweetheart... after that, we didn't do anything, continue planning of anything. In fact, we nearly reached a point of drawing out the accordance because I realized I just can't work out the thing with my son with so much thinking. I know everything he's been through and I want the one he chooses himself... importantly... if it's a marital choice. But Mitchell... He was so indestructibly persistent to follow what we die to plan. He didn't want to pull out. It was hard for me and my husband because the choice was also hard... Two sides were reasonable and both... apparently... needed."

Dad already told me about this. But I wanna hear her side... Where she's coming from. She asks me to hear this and my goal was to only listen. This was something I lack years before. I only got to talk and talk, poisoning myself in what I already identified with so much information I picked up to suspect only by myself. And it was just like a tiring cycle that's repeatedly eating my sanity. I refused to listen before... so the chance of learning what is new hasn't gotten to me for a time.