love you always

park

"Ready" i said holding Ella, who i had just swaddled in blankets, Derek nodded and we put her in the stroller for the first time. "She didn't cry" he beamed, "okay ready?" he asked and i nodded in reply, i was nervous, i wasn't sure why. The park was near, it's just this was her first time out on a walk, and there were people, cars, and busy roads.

"Derek she's smiling, she just smiled" i said as we walked down the road, i rested my head on Dereks shoulder, as he pushed the stroller down the street. More people notice you when you have a baby with you, it was actually really weird, getting so many smiles from strangers, and a few "awhh how old is she". Only when we were out in public, i realised everything was pink. The hood of her stroller, the mobile hanging on the handle, her blanket, her hat and her onsie was white with pink dots. The colour pink was growing on me.

"Do you want to keep walking or go back" Derek asked me, after we'd walked around the park for about 30 minutes. "Let's get back, i want to lie down, and she needs to be fed" he nodded back, and we made the short journey home.

Once we were back home, i sat down on the couch and fed Ella, whilst watching trashy tv. "Here, eat something" Derek put a plate of food on the coffee table. "I love you, and i love that you make me food" i smiled "well someone has too, especially with you cooking skills". I put Ella in her baby bouncer a few seconds later, as she was finished, and i got up and smacked him on the shoulder "i can cook" i laughed playfully "Mer you can't even make toast without starting a fire" he gently pulled me onto him, and kissed my forehead. "That is so not true" i kissed him back, this time passionately, i missed this, kissing him, and i missed having sex with him. But i had just given birth, and i wasn't ready, i pulled away, suddenly aware that we were next to our daughter. "I miss you" i whispered "but i'm right here" he whispered back, "no, i miss all of you" my hand traveled to the inside of his thigh, his breath hitched. I pulled away and sat down on the couch to eat. I didn't even need to look at him to know he was frustrated. Instead i sat admiring Ella, who was sound asleep.

"She's down for a while" he came into the bathroom, where i was running a bath, i took advantage of the situation and slowly pulled my top off, i hadn't felt sexy in a while. At least not since Ella had been born, but even before that i had felt like a whale. He moved towards me and kissed my neck. "Derek you know we can't" i said letting a small moan escape, "i know" he pulled away slowly and smiled at me. We both took a bath and talked, we could talk for hours and never run out of things to say. But we didn't need words, just each other.

I fed Ella once she woke up again and Derek and i ate dinner and got ready to go to sleep. We climbed into bed, as he pulled me into him. "5 weeks" i blurted "huh?" he asked confused, "we can have sex in 5 weeks" he laughed and kissed me gently, before i fell asleep in his embrace.

Sorry this was short i don't really like this chapter. Next chapter is going to be smut so if u don't like it then idk skip it but i always feel awkward writing it. <3