love you always

catch up

Two weeks later we sent out invitations, it was slightly late but we weren't inviting hundreds of people. "Okay, i'll go get her dressed and then we'll go to work" i picked up ella who was playing on the floor. "Mer we have that dinner tomorrow" derek reminded me, "holy crap that's tomorrow" i covered ella's ear, hoping she never picks up language that derek and i use during fights or out of worry. "Before we know it ella will be saying her very first swear word" derek joked, which i didn't find very amusing. "Okay you get bottles out and i'll be down when she's dressed" i walked upstairs.

"What time do you get off?" he asked, "i think 6, that's without being pulled into an emergency, you know how it is" i replied, "okay so i'll meet you in the lobby around then?" he asked "yeah i'll pick her up just before" i pulled into the car park.

"Shit!" i kicked a tray of supplies onto the floor, derek walked in "what's wrong" he started picking up the objects now scattered across the floor, "my patient died about an hour ago, baily and i were doing a colectomy and she coded, we couldn't get her back" my eyes filled with tears, "she was 16 years old, and she never got to live" i cried, he came over and hugged me, "i'm sorry" he whispered.

We both went to go so the one person i knew who could cheer me up after a miserable miserable day, "hi baby girl" i picked her up and derek smiled, "mama sit" she babbled, "what does sit mean" i laughed "sit" she giggled. "Mer you don't think she's trying to say 's-h-i-t' do you?" derek asked, "oh my god i hope not" panicked momentarily "sit" she kept saying, as we walked back to the car.

"oh yes" i moaned, derek and i were 'watching a movie' and unwinding, "fuck" he pushed into me repeatedly, he put his hand over my mouth to stop me from making noise, as we came undone with each other, "thank you... i needed that" i said in between laboured breathes, he smiled at me and pulled me close to him. "We should go to bed, we have that dinner tomorrow and i don't want to be half asleep" i yawned, already exhausted, "okay let's go" he kissed me before we walked up the stairs, wearing practically nothing.

I woke up and looked out of the window, it was still dark, i checked the alarm time and it was 2:36am. I wasn't sleepy so i crept out of the room to go downstairs. I sat on the couch and checked my phone, 3 missed calls 'cristina yang' so i called her back,
"mer finally you picked up"
"hey are you okay?"
"yeah i just wanted to talk to you i've had night shifts this week so i haven't seen you"
"well thanks for caring, i'm fine"
"why are you awake right now? did ella wake you up?"
"no ella's a good sleeper, i guess she just didn't get that from me"
"are you worried about the wedding?"
"no i... i really really want this, he makes me happy and i love him, i'm sure about marrying him, it's just we have this dinner tomorrow, with a couple of his sisters and it made me realise when i'm marrying him, i'm kind of marrying his family too"
"i get that, mer it won't be too bad, and if they hate you text me and i'll call you with a fake emergency"
"thank you, you're great"
"i know, can we catch up at some point?"
"yeah i'm free on wednesday, can you get the day off? i sort of need you for something"
"probably, why?"
"i need to go shopping, for dresses, and i need bathing suits, and hot lingerie"
"ew, that was way too much detail, but what for"
"derek and i are going on a honeymoon after the wedding and i wanna be sexy, it's the only time i'm not gonna be 'mama', and i can just be a wife for a week"
"okay i'll help you find stuff, where are you going?"
"maldives"
"can i come?"
"haha maybe next time, but thank you for everything, you're a really great friend"
"no problem, that's what i'm hear for"
"so what's going on with you"
"i slept with owen hunt"
"cristina!"
"you don't get to judge me for that"
"eh you're right, is he any good?"
"mer"
"i'm kidding, is it just sex or more then that?"
"i think it's more"
"cristina yang, work focus freak, is falling for an attending"
"shut up"
"hmnn well i'm happy for you"
"oh i'm being paged, i'll see you wednesday"
*hangs up

"Who's calling you at quarter to three?" i heard from behind me, "holy crap" i swore, almost jumping out of my skin "sorry, i didn't mean to scare you" he laughed. "It's fine, why are you up, did i wake you?" i asked, feeling bad "no and yes, you weren't loud i just didn't hear any snores, or have anyone wrapped around me" he joked, "asshole, i don't snore!" i laughed, trying not to wake the sleeping baby, "why are you awake?" he questioned, "i just woke up and didn't feel sleepy again" i shrugged, "are you worried about the dinner?" he was concerned, "a little" i admitted "mer it will go well" he tried to reason "derek i love you, which is why i'm doing this, but it was a miracle your mother liked me, but i'm not the girl you want to introduce to your family" i stated, feeling vulnerable and insecure about the ordeal, "your so wrong, you know my dad would have loved you" he smiled, his eyes slightly glassy, i stayed silent letting him explain.

"He died when i was young, two guys shot him for his watch, in-front of me and amy, who you'll meet tomorrow, but call her amelia, anyway i loved him so much, and he was gone in a second, i miss him everyday, but all i know is that he would have loved you, and he would have loved our daughter, and i'm so angry and so sorry ella won't ever get the chance to meet him". I sat closer to him, and hugged him tightly, "i'm so sorry" i whispered, "i'm sure he would be really proud of you, you're an excellent father, and the best fiancé" i kissed him lightly.

We stayed wrapped in each other's embrace, drifting off.

hey so this chapter is a bit random but who cares, have a good day!