love you always

eating for two

It had been 2 weeks, i have been throwing up every morning for the past 14 days and i eat a meal every hour. Derek has gone all overprotective, health mode on me so i have been eating all my unhealthy crap when he was at work. I have been going to work later then usual, mostly because vomiting at work isn't on the top of my list of things i want to do, although it's nice having some alone time, derek is always around me, asking me questions, trying to make me feel better, i'm greatful be cares and i love him but it's suffocating. I have to refrain from throwing things at him when he asks "have you been throwing up again?" "how did you sleep?" "are you hungry?" "you should eat something healthy?".

We're driving to work together early today, i'm having my first ultrasound for the baby. "How are you feeling?" "Derek i swear to God stop asking me questions all the time i hate it" "Mer, your pregnant now, that means we have to communicate, how else do you expect to handle a screaming baby or a playful toddler". To be fair, derek has been very patient and accepting of my mood swings and me snapping at him.

The wait in the waiting room feels like decades, what if i did something wrong, what if the baby has no heartbeat, what if i'm going to be a terrible mother, what if the baby hates me, what if i'm like my mother? It's almost like he can see my thoughts as he squeezes my hand "Mer, everything is going to be fine" "what if it's not, what if my crappy diet has made the baby deformed or what if it's not alive" "Mer, stop doing this to yourself, just wait and see what the OB says, okay?" I nod and we wait for another 5 minutes, until finally we make our way to an exam room. "Everything off from the waist down dr grey, i'll be back in 2 minutes" she smiled sweetly and closed the door as she walked out the small room. There were pictures and diagrams of babies and pregnant women on every wall. I sat down next to the ultrasound machine and derek held my hand as we waited for the OB to return. "Right, i'm sure you know you're here for your 8 week ultrasound, would you like any pictures today?" "uhh- yeah sure" i replied hesitantly. I looked up at the monitor to see a blob, the OB pointed at it and told us that it was our baby.
"wow" i looked up at derek, i was painfully aware tears filled my eyes and he looked at me, mesmerised. "That's our baby" he smiled back at me, "that is our baby".

After our appointment was over i went downstairs to get ready for rounds, i kissed derek goodbye and went to find Cristina. She was sitting talking to izzie stevens, who greeted me with a warm smile as i sat down. "Hey so i had my ultrasound" Cristina nodded at me and went back to tying up her shoelaces "ok well you could at least pretend to care Cristina" "well done" she said sarcastically. I pulled out the small image of the baby and izzie ripped it out of my hand and squealed "YOUR PREGNANT?!" i looked around, luckily no one was around, so hopefully didn't hear. "yes izzie but you might want to say it louder, the guy on the top floor might not have heard you" "sorry it's just, wow whose the father, anyone we know" "uhh i uhh-" luckily i was saved by an angry Dr Baily storming in the locker room "rounds, now, this isn't a mother's meeting is it!" We all scurried away and got to work.

After hours and hours, Derek finally came to find me to go home. "Hey Mer how's the baby" I smiled and rolled my eyes on the inside. "Fine, you know i love you right, thank you for putting up with me, i know i'm a lot right now" he pulled me into his arms, hugged me and whispered "of course". We got in the car and made our way back to the house.

We sat on the sofa and ate dinner and i blurted "my boobs" he looked at me confused and shocked "what about your boobs?" "they're huge and they hurt, do they look different to you?" "umm i mean they might be a little bigger?" he stuttered, trying not to say the wrong thing. "i'm sorry" i feel bad for putting derek through all of this, "for what?" "for being such a pain in the ass, i'm emotional and moody and horny and annoying" "Mer it's not your fault and besides i don't care, i love you" "just, don't tiptoe around me please" "okay, i won't" i smiled, put down my plate and walked over to him, i straddled him and started kissing his neck, i didn't know whether it was the baby hormones or just the fact he was so fucking perfect, but all i wanted to do was rip his clothes off and fuck him.

He stood up whilst i held onto him, my legs were wrapped around him and he carried me up the stairs to the bed. I suddenly had an idea, he was kissing me hard so i pulled away quickly and breathlessly said "shower" he smirked at me, his blue eyes glistening and carried me into the shower, ripping of my clothes as i did the same for him. I reached behind me to turn on the water, it was freezing, but i didn't care. I let out a small moan in his mouth, which caused his erection to stir. He gently placed me down on the tile seat in the shower, he bent down kissing my thighs, closer and closer until he got to the middle. I wrapped my fingers in his hair and moved his head to where i needed it to be. I practically screamed, it felt so good, i felt a rush of emotion as i thought this was the
only man i ever wanted to be with. The one person i wanted to do this with for the rest of my life.

hey sorry i haven't updated in ages, i will try and publish more but i hope you like it <3