Wildcard ( One Piece Fanfiction x Reader)

Chapter 56

A few days from Baltigo away, you had the strangest encounter. A crab, as big as a house tried to eat you. Funny, right? The crab had the same color as Shanks' hair, so you did the only logical thing. You shared a drink with the Sea King, more like chugging a bottle of alcohol down it's throat, but that's where friend are for, and brought it later to Benn Beckman.

"Benn!" You yelled from afar, as you saw the ship of the Red Haired pirates anchored in shallow water. The crab's pincers desperately hold onto your waist, as you hobbled over the waves towards the ship. Benn Beckman stood indeed on the bow of the ship, a cigarette hung loosely from his lips. How can he do that without burning himself? You asked yourself. "Benn! I brought Shanks back!" You pointed at the hung over scavenger that desperately clung at you. You stopped next to the ship, just in time. But the crab didn't vomit. No. It lost it's balance, and fell with a thud into the water, his legs desperately trying to grab onto to something. That something was the monkey's leg. And so, that monkey followed the crab into the water, his pants on his knees (Yes, the monkey wore pants. And no, the monkey's name was not Luffy. Or maybe it is...). Bringing the crab here was totally worth it.

"Shanks! I brought your doppelganger!" You yelled, as you noticed the captain's presence. He flinched at your loud voice. Seems like Crabbieswabbie wasn't the only one who had drunk too much. You jumped up, until you reached the deck, where you landed full superhero-pose. Just kidding. You were much more awesome than that. You tripped over an empty bottle and fell first face on the wood. "Hmm. You should clean more often, Yasopp." You commented, while you tried to extricate yourself from the floor you were currently were glued at. Beer works wonders. "You know what, I am gonna stay just here...Yup. I am good down here." You said, lifting your gaze as high as possible. Shanks walked to you. "Wow. You're so...tall now." He said, while pouting. His face suddenly brightened up. "Can I get a piggy-back?" He asked, and without waiting he just jumped onto you. Beer wasn't so sticky after all. You rolled on your side, just in time. "No! You'll never get a piggy-back!" You yelled, while you took a fighting pose in. "Just one!" He begged, slowly preying at you. "No is no!" You said, while you hid behind the mast. "You're offending a yonko if you don't give me a piggy-back ride!" He yelled. "I have one strict rule: I don't date, get children, murder or give piggy-back rides at yonko's!" You said, peeking around the mast. You couldn't see him. "Could you imagine me giving Big Mom a piggy-back ride?" You sputtered, while you desperately tried to catch a glimpse of Akagami. Dammit! What should I do? What should I do?...Observation Haki! Glad that I remembered that! Just in time, as Shanks leaped at you. You dodged him, and hid behind Lucky Roux. "Shanks, you have to understand. Although it doesn't seem like it, but I value my life!" You tried to be reasonable with him. Doesn't normally do it with Yonko's, but you could at least give it a shot. "And who's going to take care of my daughter when I die?" It slipped out of your mouth, you really didn't intend to say that. "Wait, you're a mother?" Lucky Roux asked, while he looked down at you. You nodded. "I already thought you had put on some weight!" Shanks commented, suddenly appearing next to you. That was a very bad idea. You smacked him full over the head. "I didn't put on some weight!" "So, who's the father?" Yasopp asked, pulling his captain out of your reach. "Is it that Navy guy you enslaved?" Someone asked. "Was it Mihawk? If so, that makes me godfather!" Shanks added with a grin. "Was it that shipwright from Water 7? "A warlord?" "Is it Moria's child?" You looked in horror at that question. "No, no, no! You're all wrong!" You yelled, placing your hands on your hips. "Was it that rookie that got his arm ripped off by Shanks?" Rockstar asked. You turned to the other Red head. "Who's arm did you rip off?" "Forget what he said." Shanks said, pulling Rockstar into the safety zone. Meanwhile, his men looked at each other, clearly concerned. "So it's the captain's child?" Someone dared to ask. You facepalmed. "Does it look like I would fall so deep? I don't sleep around with half of the world." You said, while Shanks looked a tad dumbfounded. Their gazes said otherwise. You sighed. "So I have fallen so deep, and I do sleep with half of the world." You murmured. An existential crisis had befallen you. "Well, it was that or you had a child with Sakazuki." One of the guys tried to cheer up. You stared deeply in his soul, until he had shrunken and said: I am sorry. I am a horrible human being and I apologize for that." He said, walking to a corner where he turned his face to the wall. "Why? I punched him in the balls and you think that's romantic? What's wrong with you all?" "There were some sparks?" One guy said, lifting his hands up. You kicked with a Beckham-move from the ship. "Do you see the sparks now?" You yelled after him. You sighed. This wasn't getting anywhere. Not without clues. "I kinda adopted a girl." You said with a sigh. "piggy-back!" Someone yelled behind you before jumping on you. You sighed even more. "I give up on life. Shit is real."