Wildcard ( One Piece Fanfiction x Reader)

Chapter 23

The ground tasted like seaweed, bad seaweed. The vice warden, Hanny-guy, dragged you to the wall, where he chained you up. You couldn't move your arms and legs anymore, and speaking didn't go so well. But your nose was so itchy. "Caw sowman scrash me nowse?" You mumbled. They didn't grant you the favor. Not soon after, you fell asleep, being watched by your cellmates.
The moment you woke up again, your nose was still itchy. But you could move and talk again. Guess what you did: You arched your back, bringing up your right leg, bending your knee and scratched your nose with the tip of your foot. "The navy uses a good shoe polish!" You said to yourself. You slightly had forgotten about your roommates, but a soft cough coming from one of them, got your attention. "Hi! Nice to meet you!" You said, ignoring the weird position you were in, still scratching your nose, You straightened your back and put your foot down, and looked at them with a raised eyebrow, as they didn't respond to your greeting. "I feel a bit offended that you two do not respond, but to be honest, I totally forgot about you. So we can just put that down, right?" You said, trying to start a conversation. The younger of the two just turned his head away, but the big pile next to you, said something. "We are not in the mood for small talk, miss." "Yeah, I kinda got that, thank you. But still, I wanna get to know my cell buddies." You finally recognized the people in your cell. "Oh wait! I know who you are! You are that warlord, Jimmy!" "Jimbei." "However, I do not know you..." You said pulling a thinking face, looking at the young guy before you. Your brain slowly got overheated. "He is Fire Fist Ace." Jimbei slowly said. "Oh right! Thanks Ace!" Ace's frown became deeper. You saw it, and hurriedly tried to correct your mistake. " I mean, I am not happy that you will die, but this was..." You stopped talking, remembering something a certain Straw Hat told you. "Wait, are you Luffy's brother?" Ace finally looked at you. "You know Luffy?" "Of course, I saw him a few days ago!" You answered enthusiastically. You two talked a while about your mutual connection, and you soon discovered you actually started to like this slightly grumpy guy.

A few hours and actual laughs later, The two wardens came to your cell. They actually came to declare your sentence. Hannyabal cleared his throat loudly, getting the other cellmates attention. But you just kept telling your story to Ace and Jimbei. The Hanny-guy poked you with his staff, between your shoulders, causing you to grunt. You turned around, giving him a deadly gaze. "How often do I have to tell you? Do not interrupt someone else's conversation! Learn some manners, buddy!" You said calmly. You turned your head back to Jimbei, and continued your story. He poked you again, but this time you didn't move an inch. After you finished your story, you turned back to the Warden. "Tell me. You have my full attention now." You declared. The almost desperate Vice Warden opened his mouth to yell at you, only to be interrupted by Magellan. " (L/N) (Y/N)! We, the World Government and its executive powers, declare you guilty at the crime of kidnapping and threatening a Celestial Dragon, and resist your own arrest! You will sentenced with death by execution, dated for the third of next month!" As he was done with his sudden speech, you only sighted. "It seems like the Navy's administration is still retarded." "What did you say?" "After all these years, the Navy still can't put one and one together! Seriously, what's wrong with you!?!?" You yelled in disbelief. "I can't believe I am doing this. I will give you my full record."

The wardens needed some time to process your declaration, but the Vice Warden finally took out a notepad. You snorted only. "Yeah, you're gonna need a much bigger notepad." Was your answer to their questioning gazes. "How do you want it? Telling you in chronological order, or by category of crime? Little warning: I broke almost every law, so..." "Just start." Magellan blustered. And you started your story.

Several hours later, you grew just as quiet as your public, that consisted most of the level 6 inmates, and many guards. Your story was one filled with tears, blood and pain. To lift the mood, you yelled: "Oi Croco-boy! Your hook is not that useless, in fact. It is great if you have to dry your laundry. Thanks for lending it to me!" "I didn't lend it! You stole it!" He snapped back. You only laughed. Ace looked at you in confusion. "So, you are Whipslash? The famous free spirit?" "Yep." "Wow. I really tried to get your number, but..." You raised a questioning eyebrow, and the flame boy turned red. "No, not that way! I was looking for another Division Commander, and..." "I would have given you my number either way, boy." You said while smirking. He turned even a shade more red, almost raspberry. Magellan interrupted you. "Enough with the flirting!" You rolled your eyes, before you turned to the enormous, winged man. You sent him a smile, while you tried to keep your patience. "Yes?" You asked. "Was that everything?" "Yes....Wait! Can be kicking someone in the balls be sentenced? If so, I hit various through my career, including Momonga's Mini Momonga." You snickered a bit at your words. (If you watch Grand Line Review, you know why. I stole it from there. :) ) Hannyabal looked shortly down, causing laughter by your cellmates. The Wardens left you alone, clearly thinking about the call they had to make.

They came back a few hours later. "Whipslash, for your crimes committed under your own and assumed name, including: destroying 9 navy ships, stealing various items from clothing to state secrets and the Pope's identity, committing treason, arson, causing tremendous trouble and fear, breaking at least a thousand laws and kidnapping a Celestial Dragon, you will be sentenced to death in a public execution, together with Fire Fist Ace!" "So I will die for being a Royal Pain in the ass, basically." "Exactly." "Great! Always wanted that!" You turned to Ace. "Now we're official death buddies!" You said, wanting to high five. A few cracks appeared on the wall. "Oops." You mouthed. If it wasn't his death day in two days, Ace would have laughed his eyes out.

This is quite short, but it is a filler chapter. The next one will be filler too. Yay! Bot now, may I present you: Author and the causes of headache!

Author: This is actually not that bad.

Shanks: What do you mean, Author?

Author: This whole situation. You guys, who turned my whole house into a battlefield, my empty fridge,...

Shanks: We are always happy to change your life for the better, author.

Doflamingo: We can make it even better by cuddling, fufufu...

Mihawk: That's not what author-san ment, I believe something worse happened.

Author *nodding*: Do you know 'school'?

Shanks: What is that?

Author: It is something every child between 5 and 18 has to visit, 5 days in the week.

Shanks: And?

Author: You have to wake up really early, sit the whole day on a chair, and listen to people who try to tell you mostly something useless. And after a long, tiring day, you have to go home, and do homework.

Shanks *sitting in Mihawks lap*: It sounds worse than Impel Down..,

Crocodile: Can you smoke there?

Author: No.

Shanks: Can you drink Rum?

Author: No.

*A depressing silence falls over the room*

Mihawk *pats Author's shoulder*: I can truly feel your pain, author-san.

*Shanks starts silently crying*

Doflamingo: Your life is just...sad. No wonder you don't want to go on a date with me.

Author: That's not the reason, birdie.

Crocodile: Good luck, Doflamingo! You're gonna need it.

Doflamingo: What?

Crocodile: Aaah aah aah!

Author: Hancock is right. I never know if you're dying or just laughing.

Crocodile: I will never die.

Author: Legends never die. But you will.

Crocodile: What?

Author *pats crocy-boy on the shoulder*: You will understand one day.

*Author wants to leave the room*

Doflamingo: fufufu- That's my girl.

Author *sights*: You are never gonna stop, right?

Doflamingo: fufufu.

Author: If you want to call me 'your girl', you have to go to school with me everyday, you know.

Doflamingo *turning white*: ...I am good. Thank you, author-san.