Wildcard ( One Piece Fanfiction x Reader)

Chapter 49

"Why are we doing this again?" Erin asked, his arms crossed while he leaned over your coffin; That's right. Your coffin. You opened an eye and send him a glare. "geez, you're getting more stupid with every day that passes." You turned around in your coffin, and faced the side. "Besides, the only other option was hiding on a wedding and the bride had an awful taste." "That's your reason for making wear this!?!" He gestured towards the long, black shroud he was wearing. "Yeah, you're the mourning husband, remember?" You knew he pulled a long face behind your back. "Don't trip over you bottom lip." You grinned into the white linen that covered the inside of your coffin. You let out a sigh. "Why can't they make coffins more comfortable. My back hurts!" You faced the ceiling again. "Undertakers don't really get reviews from their clients. It's mostly a one time business." You looked up and stared him in the eyes. "I don't know if you're serious or being deadass. Anyway, it still kills my back." "Aren't dead people supposed to shut up?" He asked you. "They better apply that to the living." You murmured, closing your eyes. But not for long. "Could you pull down my dress? It itches." You said. "Do it yourself." You slapped him with one of the lilies that were put in your folded hands. "Do it! Dead people aren't supposed to get up and do it themselves! The zombie apocalypse hasn't begun yet!" "Ouch! Dead people aren't supposed to hit either!" You glared daggers at him until he sighed and pulled the hem of your shroud over your ankles. "I don't get why half of this lace is! Don't they have something more appropriate for a funeral?" "Says the woman who's supposed to be dead AND silent!" Erin shot back. "Shut up! You don't understand a thing!" You huffed, a whine at the end of your sentence. He simply ignored you. Such a heartless monster. "Why do I have to wear a shroud again?" He asked. "It was that or a pink flower suit." He pouted. "I still don't think it's fair that you got the Okama's shroud." He murmured. "Boy, I wear it better." "You're being mean." "I know." "I still think..." "Don't think. That's not good for you." "But..." "Shut up. The dead try to rest in peace here." "Pfft. I would wear it better." "We both know you're lying." "I hate you." "Oooh! Love you too!"

Suddenly something moved under your shroud. "What am I supposed to do? I am not a cow, I can't say moo." The rhyming pink mini zebra, better known as Mimi or the deceased spirit animal of Shakespeare, popped out his bright pink head from between your ankles and stared at you. "Maybe you could be silent...or learning how to actually rhyme." You answered, not bothering to get up. You and Mimi didn't get...quite along. Shortly summarized: you tried to kill the thing a few times and the pink mini thing tried to quench its bloodthirst with you. It didn't work out greatly. There is a reason why you have to share a bed with Erin now (Also because neither of you wanted the couch and you fell asleep fighting over who got the bed now. That guy drooled a lot in his sleep. And he likes to be spooned.). You're a nasty li'l las, death on you shall pass!" Shakespeare's deceased spirit animal said before turning it's back on you. "Oh, I can't wait until you're gone!" You chuckled. That was not a good idea. It's hoof hid you right on your shinbone. You cursed while Erin laughed at your attempts to be silent and not to kill Mimi. "I actually start to like you, Mimi!" "Shut up! You're my mourning husband! And THAT..." You pointed at said rhyming pink mini zebra. "...is the reason why you have to share a bed with me!" He sighed. "I told you, I don't want to be reminded that I wake up next to you every morning!" "You're saying like that's a bad thing!" "It is!" Someone knocked on the door, and you quickly fell into your coffin again. "Uhm, sir, We understand your grieving, but can you please keep it down? There are other families here that try to say goodbye to their loved ones." A man said, the awkwardness filling the room. "Of course, sir. But my wife..." Erin loudly gulped by saying that word. (Come on, being married to you was not that bad!) "My wife asked to complete a certain traditional ritual from her hometown in case she passed away." The silence was even more awkward than the conversation. "...I see." The man said, before disappearing. "It's all your fault, Erin-kun." "if you don't shut up, this will be your funeral for real." "And I will gladly help him with that! You're making me so mad, mad!" Mimi commented from under your shroud. "I didn't ask for your opinion! Go away!" You huffed, before closing your eyes for the lonely eternity.