Wildcard ( One Piece Fanfiction x Reader)

Chapter 48

Your bounty was high enough to stop Big Mom from shoving down the food down her throat. For exact 2.7 seconds. Impressive, right? But it didn't stop your mouth, as you leaned closer in to Erin. "Maybe I can take over the job of swordsman in our threesome." You said, hinting at your fought fight. "Maybe you can walk to hell." He suggested. You chuckled in awe. "You're getting better every day! I am so proud of you!" You patted his cheek, while he just turned red at your remark. But before he could give you another riposte, Big Mom had gulped down the food and decided to spend some attention to her guests. (I am lying. Big mom doesn't bother to talk with an empty mouth). "Mamamamama! You're not so useless, little girl." "I will take that as a compliment." You replied dryly. Under the table Erin squeezed your hand, trying to let you know you played with fire. As he wanted to pull back his hand, you hold tightly on you. You grinned as he turned even more red. He was going to pay for not letting you lend his sword! (evil smile etc.) "If I remember correctly, you were the famous panties thief." "I am more specialized in socks now." The woman put a whole friggin' three-layered cake in her mouth. Your eyes popped slightly out as you watched her in awe. Now that was a talent! "You." She pointed a finger at your *cough* humble *cough* being, and said: "I have a great present for: you shall marry into the family!" The crowd started cheering, while some Charlotte's turned a little white at the thought of having to deal with you on a daily basis. "No." Your answer was silent, but well heard. "What?" Linlin's head turned slowly to you, a bit of chocolate-drool dangling from those red lips. You cleared your throat, not feeling comfortable. "I am afraid that's not possible." Hell, why did you even phrase it nicely, a blow from that huge woman wouldn't hurt any less, nice words or not. "I will be nice. I will let you marry one of my Sweet Commanders." The crowd gasped. Mama NEVER bargained: you simply did what she told you to do. "I can't." You replied. "You can even become a Sweet Commander!" The Captain of the Charlotte Pirates had never been so patient in her whole life. Meanwhile Cracker was even paler than normal. You could understand him a bit. He had a 50 percent chance to marry you AND you would steal his job too!...You would love if someone did that for you. It would be heaven.

You snapped out of your thoughts, mostly by realizing you had to kiss Cracker at least once in your life, just for the sake of oaths and that kind of stuff....Nah. You smiled at Big Mom. "I have to refuse your offer, ma'am." You said clearly, trying to not make it obvious that you slowly tried to flee. "But my job doesn't allow me to. I am a dealmaker. I can't be biased. And by marrying into your family, as much as I would love to, I have to refuse your offer firmly." The aura of the woman changed and you quickly talked on trying not to scream and run. "BUT I can make an advantageous deal in your name, if you want!" The woman was silent, while you made the playlist for your funeral in your head. "A deal with everyone?" She asked. "In reasonable ranges, yes." "And what do you call reasonable?" Mont D'or asked. That man was quick when it came to power and money. "Just don't send me to Loguetown." You couldn't suppress a shiver, as you thought back at that horrible place.

After bargaining for hours with Mont D'or, with occasional interruptings coming from Big Mom herself, you could finally walk out of that inner courtyard. Alive. "Do you even know what you just started, (Y/N)?" Avis asked. She had kept her mouth shut during the whole deal. "Why not? A deal with the Vinsmoke Family. Sounds fun!" You stratched your arms, while Erin gave you a piece of his mind. "You're insane." You laughed. "Sanity, or Insanity, that's the question." At this moment you bumped into someone.

"3Oops didn't see you there!" You said, looking up at the person you slammed into. He was tall. You looked back down, right to the knee you collided with. "I am glad those things didn't pierce me." You said, poking the spike on his knee. "Ouch! Those are pretty sharp!" Meanwhile the whole hallway, that buzzed in life before, grew silent. A completely natural, logical question came up in you, so you asked it. "Did you ever hurt yourself when you crossed your legs?" Some people fainted, hearing your question. The man just glared at you. His magenta hair giving his face an odd aura. And then you saw it. It was upon perfection. It was made by the gods themselves. Your mouth fell open, as you stared in awe. You sighed happily, while you pulled Avis', with a weird blush on her face, sleeves in order to express your feelings. "That Jacket...I want that jacket." "It's already his, (Y/N)." She said absentmindedly. "But I want it!" "No!" She shot back. "But Aunt-sensei, Look! It would be the top-piece of my collection!" You protested. "I said no, and that's it!" You ignored her. "You, with the spiky pants!" You pointed at the tall male. "Can I have your jacket?" "(Y/N)!" "Oh, sorry. I forgot. Can I have your jacket, please?" Everyone present gasped in disbelief at your bold, but reasonable request. Meanwhile an irritating teenager drifted in. "How dare you to talk so unrespectful to our Brother Katakuri?" She yelled, her gum bubble popping in anger. You were confused for a second. "Hold on...I don't get it anymore... Are you all related to each other?" Everyone just nods. "I told you it was a mistake to bring her with us. We could have left this place alive. Alive!" Erim murmured under his breath behind you. You simply ignored him. Meanwhile, more and more Charlottes came in. You hold up your hand, a frown on your forehead. "So, you tell me that that guy..." You pointed at barechested Cracker." Who didn't change his arm the last year, according to the taste, is related to the owner of this divine jacket?" At this moment Erin fainted/ faceslammed with the floor, but you weren't done yet. You cleared your throat, while puffing out your chess proudly. "You are the most badass...How old are you?" Avis interrupted at this point. "He's as old as me, but (Y/N), just stop talking..." "Eeeeh? He's 174?!? Really doesn't show..." You couldn't finish your sentence, as Avis kicked your head in rage. Avis was goddamn scary, standing over you fuming and murderous. "Don't even dare to say that again!" You laboriously climbed out of the crater that her attack had caused, and coughingly, but proudly exclaimed: "You're the most badass...man to live with his mother! You have my respect!" Who ever was still standing at this point collapsed in awe of your uppermost stupidity. "You finally had reached the edge of the crater, and popped your head out with the most innocent smile ever seen. "Can I have your jacket, Kata-senpai?" At this point Erin had rolled himself into a ball and cried profusely. "There won't even be enough pieces of me left to put in a coffin..."