sub rosa (Bellamy Blake x reader)

xcv. etherea (7.11)

Word of Anders' death and Diyoza's sacrifice travels quickly, and Cadogan comes to find all of you, shocked and still standing outside the machine room door. You are all led to his personal quarters, encouraged to eat and sleep and rest, with the promise to meet again in a few hours. Miller, Raven, Hope, Jordan, and Niylah all crash in the giant bedroom, but you, Clarke, Octavia, Echo, and Gabriel are all too wired or hungry to sleep, and you sit together in the large dining room of the Shepherd. It's not long before food, real food, not just nutrition bars, is brought to you, and you look it over before you exchange a look with the others. "They were capable of food like this the whole time? Why the hell were we eating all that bland stuff?"

"Guess they didn't want to waste it on some low level disciples."

You wish you had enough of an appetite to eat the first real meal that's been offered to you in ages, but your stomach is tied in knots, wrapped tight with anxiety. You shake your head and plop into a seat beside Clarke, her eyes locked on a wall across the room, and you reach out to squeeze her hand, trying to pull her out of her head. Gabriel and Octavia each take a seat at the table while Echo remains standing, choosing to pace the room as her brain processes the last few hours and what she nearly did before you all arrived. Diyoza's death hangs over the room like a wet blanket, and though you only knew her for a few months, it still hurts you to know that she's gone. It hurts you worse when you realize the loss that Octavia and Hope must be feeling.

Octavia sits and picks at her food, unable to stomach it right now, but Gabriel sits nearby, hungrily eating anything within his reach, looking over all of you with a nod. "Thank God for the Flame. Doubt they'd serve us saji bowls in jail."

Octavia eventually gives up on the prospect of stomaching anything, dropping her spoon into her bowl and looking at Gabriel in disbelief. "How could you eat right now?"

Echo looks over at Gabriel, reminding you and him of a memory that feels so long ago now, when Orlando was preparing you for your mission to Bardo. "He can always eat."

If it were any other moment, you'd laugh. But with Diyoza's death over your head and the looming possibility for severe punishment for both Hope and Echo, you're too tense to laugh. Clarke must think the same thing, because she abruptly stands from her chair and glances over at the only man in the room. "Gabriel's right. If they didn't believe I had the Flame, we'd be in cells."

She starts to cross the room, towards the door, and you stand and call out to her. "Where are you going?"

"To wake the others. It's time to go back to Sanctum."

Gabriel glances her way, pausing his feast to shake his head. "Clarke, we're under house arrest."

"I'm aware of that. I'm also aware our leverage disappears the moment he puts me in front of that stone."

You lock eyes with your twin, starting to guess where this is going. "So what are you gonna do?"

"I'm gonna offer to do it as soon as the rest of you are safely back on Sanctum."

Octavia stands, instantly disagreeing, "Clarke, they'll kill you."

Echo adds, "You are not sacrificing yourself for us."

You stare at your twin, shaking your head, letting her know her plan is completely out of the question. "You've lost your mind if you think I'm leaving you here with these people."

She doesn't get the chance to argue back, because the door behind her slides open, and someone announces, "Make way for the Shepherd."

You take the few steps separating you and Clarke, so you can stand by her side, and Octavia shifts closer to the two of you. Gabriel stands and moves around the table, along with Echo, all of you united on one side, mentally preparing yourselves for anything. As the disciples step into the room, they move apart, making room for Bill before a few more disciples pull up the rear. As soon as Clarke locks eyes with Bill, she starts, "We need to talk. I'm ready to help you, but only after my friends are..."