sub rosa (Bellamy Blake x reader)

xcvi. the stranger (7.12)

You sit on the flimsy mattress beside your twin, your hand held tight in her own, both of your expressions contemplative as you try to figure out what the hell is going on. Across from you, Octavia sits on her own bed, looking at you both, a soft laugh slipping from her mouth. You and Clarke lift your gazes to her in tandem, and Clarke looks at Octavia with mild annoyance. "Something funny? Because I don't see anything humorous about this."

"I'm laughing because I'm realizing just how much I missed the Twinadoes. It's been so long since I've seen you both together."

Clarke's expression softens, her curiosity causing her to ask, "How long were you on Penance?"

"We call it Skyring. 10 years, good ones."

You smile, remembering some of your better memories from Skyring. Cooking with Gabriel, chess with Orlando, braiding flowers into Echo and Hope's hair. You whisper, "They were."

Clarke turns to look at you in confusion, unaware of how long you've been apart. "You were there?"

"Not with Octavia, Diyoza, and Hope. We came later, the four of us: me, Gabriel, Echo, and Hope."

"How long were you there?"

"Five years."

Her jaw drops in shock, "It's been five years for you?"

You nod and you see tears in her eyes. She drops your hand to pull you in a hug, and you're grateful for it, grateful to be back with your twin, even if it is in a jail cell. "Oh my god, la lune. I'm so sorry, we had no idea or we would have come sooner."

You shake your head, pulling away to smile at her. "It's not your fault, Clarke. It was only a few days for you, there's no way you could have known."

She looks at you, and you can tell she wants to know more, but she hesitates, not wanting to push you. You read her mind and look between her and Octavia. "It was hard at first. Really hard. The first few months...all I could think about was saving Bellamy and Octavia, and getting back to you and Madi. But over time, Gabriel, Echo, Hope, and Orlando wore me down. I started to warm up to them, and then one day I woke up and I realized that I hadn't worried about the time at all the day before. I felt guilty about that at first, but once I stopped religiously counting down the days, time went faster after that. It wasn't so bad in the end. We had peace, and we became a family, sharing meals and stories. And even though I missed both of you, and Bellamy, and Madi and the rest of our family, I was happy."

Octavia and Clarke can sense that you have more to say, and Clarke reaches out to grab your hand again, prepared to console you. "And then we got here, to Bardo, and it was worse than I could have imagined. Because in the five years it took for us to play house on Skyring, Bellamy was killed here. I let myself relax too much, and he ended up dead. All those years of training...for nothing."

Clarke squeezes your hand, and you glance at her before looking away, tears welling up in your eyes as you remember the loss you felt three months ago. "I lost it when I found out, which is why I can't blame Echo for nearly crystallizing us all. She knew how hard all of this has been on us, and she tried to do what she thought was best to make things right again. She went about it the wrong way, but her heart was in the right place. Anyways, I do believe there are good people on this planet, but I know that Cadogan is not one of them. I want nothing more than to get the hell off Bardo. Nothing good has happened to me here, besides reuniting with all of you, and I just want to escape."

"Me too."

"Too bad my brother betrayed us to a man he just met." Octavia sighs, turning her gaze to Clarke. "You know, I was just starting to understand you, but I guess it doesn't matter anymore. We'll probably be dead soon anyways."