sub rosa (Bellamy Blake x reader)

lxiv. exit wounds (5.06)

As soon as Octavia announces the retreat, you offer to take Indra and a few of the other badly injured people back to Polis in the rover to see Jackson. Octavia gives you her blessing, especially when she sees you warily eyeing Echo and Bellamy. You know you have her sympathy, your dislike for Echo just as strong as Octavia's. Clarke and Madi offer to ride with you, to keep you company, but you deny them, wanting to spend the time alone.

After the last few people are loaded into the back of the rover, you head towards the driver's side door, ready to drive off. As you reach for the handle, you hear someone call your name, and the voice makes your stomach sink, aware of exactly who is calling out to you. You hesitate, trying to decide if you want to turn and face Bellamy right now, but the very thought of doing so brings tears to your eyes and you decide against it. Instead you pull yourself into the rover and drive off, ignoring him as you drive the vehicle past him. Only once he's behind you do you spare a glance in the rearview mirror, watching as he looks at the retreating rover with heartbreak.

You scoff, annoyed that he's upset when it's you that should be hurt by him and his actions. It's bad enough that he decided to date Echo knowing all the terrible things that she's done, but the fact that he didn't even tell you feels much worse. You've been on the ground with him for days, and while it's definitely been stressful and chaotic, you wish that he had tried harder to tell you, warn you. Instead, you had to find out when you saw them kiss. A reunion kiss that was meant for you, not her.

You feel tears rise to your eyes, squeezing your throat, making it hard to breath, and you pull over for a second, unable to see past the emotion. You sit and cry, hard, ignoring the fact that there are at least 10 people in the back of the rover, waiting for you to get them back to Polis. You nearly jump out of your skin when you feel a hand come down on your shoulder, and when you turn to look, you see Indra looking at you, expression regretful, her voice sounding weak as she says, "I know what he means to you, Wanlida, but a warrior does not mourn those she has lost until the war is won."

You nod your head and wipe your fallen tears away, knowing that she's right. Your family and your home are in trouble, along with the people in the rover with you. Right now, it's more important that you get them to Polis. And so, you start the rover back up and continue to Polis, keeping yourself busy to keep your mind off of everything. As soon as you arrive, you help unload the injured and take them into the bunker, before assisting Jackson as he helps doctor those in need. The rest of the group makes it back in a few hours, the return hike much shorter than the initial journey, and one of the Wonkru members from the desert lets you know that Octavia and Clarke are looking for you in the main office. You thank them for passing along the message before you head that way, curious on what this is about.

As soon as you get there, you enter and see Clarke checking on Octavia's worm wound, making sure it's healing well. Octavia glances at you as you come to stand beside Madi, who is watching intently, and the Wonkru leader doesn't hesitate in giving you a serious look. "My brother will come to his senses."

Your gaze drops to your shoes, not wanting to talk about this, not now, and you can feel everyone's gaze on you as you compose yourself, lift your head, and hum, "Maybe."

Everyone seems to sense how uncomfortable you are, because the topic quickly changes, and Octavia's gaze falls on Madi, who is watching Clarke clean the queen's wounds in awe. Clarke glances at her and smiles before muttering, "Madi's a big fan. She's heard every story about the girl under the floor who saved the human race."

Octavia turns her gaze towards Madi, nodding at her with respect. "Now what's your story? You survived six years of radiation? What's your secret?"

"Synthetic nightblood, like us." Clarke starts to bandage Octavia's wound, the lie rolling off her tongue easily. "We took her to Becca's lab and shared our bone marrow to keep her alive."