engaged to a mafia

45.

𝑶𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒂 𝒑𝒐𝒗
1 week later...

"Let go." I whisper as Luca tries placing his hands on the sides of my face.

"You need to breathe. You're stressing too much and going to kill yourself. Your fevers are out the roof and you're sick sit the fuck down Odina." He pushes.

I just need to train. Wrong idea to train with him. He is everywhere I turn.

I know I lost another kid. But so did he. And I know it's hurting him in many ways more then once.

He just died in my arms and I feel like I can't even breathe.

"I am perfectly fine ." I remove his hands and walk away but he pulls me back.

"No you're not. Go rest."

"Till what Luca? When are you going to admit all the things everyone is thinking about!" I state. I'm not stupid and I know what would happen if I can't have any kids.

"That won't happen." He assures.

"Yes it will because I'm not going to try having a kid anymore. I'm tired. And it hurts. Unless you want to wait a couple more years. Or for us to have sex when we actually want to you know what you're going to have to do. So don't play stupid." I admit.

"Already hear people saying it. What is a women if they can't give there man kids. The doctors even said. My chances will always be close to nothing. No matter how much I get checked up on or treatments. It's genetic. I can't help it. And it's not in anyone's control."

"I'm not going to keep letting you penetrate me for the next more months when you know everyone is already looking down on us. Making the mafia look horrible."

A union is no union without the kids. It would be better if either one of us had closer family to take over the mafias but we don't. It's always a thing to try keeping the same blood for the next years to come in the mafia. So your family looks strong. But we both don't even have that.

"And I'm letting you know that I'm not going to have more kids are try. You heard them say it will happen for years till I can't get anything. I'm not going through that pain again Luca."

"And everyone expected me to have your kid. Our kids. But I'm a girl who can't bare them. Do you not see that! I held him in my hands and he died in my hands too. I felt happy for one second but yet again it fades away. Because my life is nothing but hardships!" I push.

"I know you want us to try but I can't. And I know what it means so go ahead and find a second wife since we're not allowed to divorce. I'm not stupid. We have contracts and witnesses of us unifying the marriage. Going to a church and swearing things. And if we ever were to break off the alliance we would be enemies. Our mafia had never like yours and the marriage calmed things down. What do you think will happen when we break it off!"

"I knew what I was getting myself into. So I'm sorry I can't have your heirs."

"You realize the next person to your mafia would be Alejandro's son." He speaks.

"Yes. I know that. But that boy is three and still has time. And Marianna plus Alejandro love there son too much to be stupid enough to have him in this life!"

"So you want me to keep an alliance with you and marry another women with an heir."

"One kid with another women to lead the mafia after. Because I don't have any other fucking cousins or shit. You don't even see how much damage that would cause between us. Doing another wedding. Doing everything I did with you with another women. As if she's be some mistress?! You're seriously suggesting that!"

"Yes. And I will be perfectly fine. But I can't keep hurting myself when it's close to not possible to have a kid. And you know you've given me more then enough time. I had one. And the same day I did he died. You don't even see how exhausting it was."

"Mariana would understand. We will both have our own on the mafias." I end.

"Until one of us dies were married. That's what we swore."

"Until one of us dies our mafias are untied. After. It would be on the next leaders in line to see if they want to go on with it. But right now I'm doing it for my mafia. Same reason why you're still with me. Because you don't want anything bad coming to your people."

My grandparents owe them so much. And they owe us so many dead. There's always been a tension between the mafias. So when the killing got too much. My father made the decision to give it up. Give me up.

Ever since the engagement was in place there was calmness. It did not mafias good.

And it was easier not needing to worry about the next invasion or shipments being ruined.

He just stares me speechless.

"You were thinking it. So don't lie." I whisper picking up my phone and walking out the room.

𝑳𝒖𝒄𝒂 𝒑𝒐𝒗

"She wants you to what?" Da Vinci laughs as if it's funny.

"Marry another. I think she's sick." I admit.

"She's tired." He defends.

"We just need to keep trying. But she Doesn't want to anymore. She straight up said for me to marry another women who would probably live in the same roof as her. "

"You can't force her into bed every night...she's exhausted. Imagine how it would feel to lose two kids. Especially now she went through full pregnancy and labor just to hear it was suppose to be another miscarriage. Just to hear how either one of them died. You can't be selfish and put her through that again." He gives advice.

"Another women?" I laugh.

"The women doesn't even have to mean anything. Doesn't have to be of high ranking. Just significant in some sort. And a virgin of course but..."

"I can't do another wedding with another women. Two wife's? Who the fuck..."

"Many trust me." He assures. The thought disgusts me.

"You have a duty. So does she. You need one heir. That's it. She's not going to give you that. She gives you everything else though. She will be the main figure still you just need a baby mom on the side." He's seriously joking?

"Odina is tired. Mentally and physically. Yes you marrying another women would break her but she understands that you're still a leader and need to have someone next in lien. Especially when you have no distant cousins or younger relatives. She'll understand trust me." He assures.

"Then later yell at me on how I should've picked her?" I laugh knowing I'm going to end up killing my self.

"She can't bare kids. You need an heir. The girl you pick whoever it is. Can. She just needs to be a good mom to your son. She doesn't need to go to meetings. Her role would only to be nurture the kid and stay at home. Odina will still be doing everything she's doing right now." He explains.

"That's not the problem. The problem is I told her I love her when she was dying right in front of me like a bitch." I finally admit and he goes quiet.

"What." He laughs.

"Do you though or was it another one of your pathetic attempts to manipulate her." He asks and I roll my eyes.

"Luca." He smiles.

"I don't know. She's just there and—"

"Your making excuses for the fact your in love with her?"

I think I said it out of instinct. Even if I've spent almost four years with that women I never felt things for her till a couple months ago.

"Does she love you?"

"She hasn't even bring up the topic and I'm glad and I hope it stays like that." I state standing up from my desk.

This conversation has went on way too fucking long.