Winter Wind (YiZhan)

49. Scourge

Notes: This is a direct continuation from the last chapter so please try to revisit the last paragraphs before continuing on with this one. x

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Afterwards, Xiao Zhan leans back against the seat, his gaze still fixed on the mounted phone as he draws in a deep breath.

It releases in a shuddering exhale and as he blinks, the last bit of moisture rolls down the corners of his eyes.

Yibo had once again been about to resign himself to a goodbye.

And for a moment there, Xiao Zhan had nearly let him.

But his heart had squeezed with a wrenching agony, and he'd moved to stop it.

Currently, they have nothing else to say to the other other but his hope is that his promise leaves a prominent note in Yibo's heart.

"I'll call you back."

He shuts his eyes then, and folds his arms across his chest as he runs all that Yibo has just said to him through his mind. One statement in particular he finds, is the one that haunts him the most and the one that he knows will linger in his mind for the longest time.

"It was easier to look away."

He understands Yibo, and all that he has just said however this one statement is what continues to nurse the antagonism that he feels in his heart towards him. In all honesty, Yibo's confession didn't turn out to be as catastrophic as it could have been and so, he feels immense relief at the confirmation that he has been right about Yibo's heart. And that it was very unlikely that Yibo had intentionally set out to hurt him. The case has now been revealed to be willful ignorance, however this doesn't make him feel any better.

In the midst of all of this malaise and antipathy though is still this bone melting warmth for Yibo that continues to burn in his chest, so he grabs onto it with all of his heart.

Why do things have to be so complicated, he cannot help but lament but then perhaps, they were quite simple.

He cannot tell.

Suddenly, his phone begins to ring once again and at the possibility that it is Yibo, his eyes fly open.

However it is not him, but Nini.

He considers rejecting the call, but when he remembers that he has to inform her of his request to the director to allow him more time in deciding whether to release a statement or not, he immediately picks up.

"Nini," he calls.

"Laoban, how are you?"

He stops at the question, a grave quiet coming over him as he considers it for a moment. He doesn't plan on responding but it does call his attention to just how jittery he feels and the harshness of his breathing pattern.

"Have you called the director?" he goes straight to the point.

"I have," she replies. "I did it after you left the house."

He feels immense disappointment, and a great deal of fear.

"Can you quickly contact him to hold on for a little bit? I need a few more days to ponder about this."

At this, she briefly goes quiet.

"I'm sorry Laoban but... the statement has already been posted. That's why I'm calling you now .... to inform you."