Winter Wind (YiZhan)

61. Pure

Later that evening, Xiao Zhan finds himself extremely anxious.

His meeting with Nini had gone on for quite the while as they had drafted and then finalized his schedule for the upcoming month. Most of it is still subject to change depending on where he would be ultimately received or rejected, but it is adequate enough a roadmap to help them in navigating their currently murky waters.

His trip to Beijing is now at the forefront of his mind, and with it his indecision of whether this is the right move- both for his professional life and his personal life.

He feels as though he is perhaps too hasty, attempting to break down doors that maybe just needed time to open up on their own. But then when is the right time to push forward or to retreat? Especially in matters that are as delicate and detrimental as these?

He has no clue.

In order to take his mind off things, he spends the rest of the evening reading Heaven Official's blessing, but eventually it becomes too much of an effort for him to remain in that world since the turmoils of his keep plaguing him.

However beside this there is little else to occupy him, and so he cannot help but wonder about his apartment in Shamian. He also considers beginning the process of getting another one in Beijing, which will be needed if the bookings that they have mapped out for the coming weeks all happen as expected.

However there is something about getting an apartment in Beijing when Yibo has one there, that irks him immensely.

He knows that it is illogical for him to nurse the desire that they would be living together, due to their current personal and professional constraints, but he cannot help but feel frustrated at all these constant barriers to everything.

His heart warns him that he is becoming too impatient, especially given the promise that he had made to Yibo about giving him all the space that he would need, however this promise he is now certain, will consume him alive before Yibo finds his way back to him

Or will he even?

This is the bigger and ever haunting question.

He wants to find a way to call him to ask- to ask if he should truly keep waiting, however he doesn't dare as this is not a question that he wants to even exist between them.

The acceptable question would be 'for how much longer? but this too isn't valid because absolutely no time whatsoever has passed. It has been a mere few days, but yet it feels like forever, and Xiao Zhan can no longer take it.

Perhaps it's because he doesn't have professional obligations to occupy his mind like Yibo currently does.

Perhaps this is the key to waiting out this storm, without every last screw in his brain coming lose.

He throws his phone over to the bed then and holds his head in his hands, however at that moment a message comes in.

He gets up to check it and sees that it is from Nini.

"Laoban," it reads. "We're cleaning up your inbox and I found this message. It's still unopened. Did you miss it?"

He takes a look at the image attached and when he sees what it is, he temporarily loses his ability to breathe.

Yibo had indeed sent him an email on that night when he'd destroyed his phone. However, it had completely slipped his mind since then.

So he hurries now to pull it up, and even though he doesn't expect it to say much, the fact that it is a message from Yibo is nerve-wracking.