Winter Wind (YiZhan)

31. Response

They're at a stalemate with this conversation.

He keeps his gaze trained on absolutely nothing ahead while Ni Ni's remains on his face.

"Xiao Zhan," she calls and he takes a deep breath.

It releases with a shudder.

"I've heard what you've said. Let's drop it."

And with this, she tosses her phone onto the table. The impact is loud and aggressive and Xiao Zhan has long learnt that this is Ni Ni's announcement that whatever restraint she has probably exercised in the current circumstance with the consideration that he is her boss, has worn thin.

He can't help but look at her now, and indeed her face has hardened in annoyance.

"I've suspected that you've had some personal issues with Wang Yibo for some time now, especially after the last time at the studio and then with that video of you at the airport. I thought then that it was perhaps because the director replaced him with you for this role but with these questions, it's obvious to me now that it is not."

She turns to meet his gaze. "You resent Wang Yibo? For not speaking up for you?

The urge to get up and walk away is so strong but he remains seated, knowing that he needs to sort through this and currently, he has no one else besides Ni Ni that is invested and aware enough about this issue to do it with. So he concedes and for once, let's her in.

"Shouldn't I?"

Her response is direct. "No, you shouldn't."

At this he frowns, truly concerned now that perhaps he is indeed being unreasonable but he cannot see how.

"You shouldn't because even you yourself didn't want him to speak up for you, so the fact that he didn't is definitely not why you resent him."

At this, Xiao Zhan's frown burrows deeper into his forehead. "What?" He tilts his head at her.

"If you truly love Wang Yibo like you've said, then why would you have wanted him to put himself in danger by speaking up for you?"

Xiao Zhan stills.

"All of this confusion I'm sure is because you've simply just tied this all up in knots in your head, and refused to work it out with anyone. We're going to do that now."

"What knots in my head?" Xiao Zhan scoffs and looks away again, feeling too exposed. "I didn't even realize that I resented him until last night."

"Alright, so you've suppressed this for a while because a part of you does actually believe that you're being unreasonable."

The reign on his temper loosens. "And how exactly am I being unreasonable?"

"Because you're expecting Wang Yibo to love you so much that he puts himself in danger for you. My question is why. You said something earlier. That him speaking up for you would 'have showed you that he cared! That he loved you enough to put himself at risk on your behalf'. But these are two separate things. I mean, he did show that he cared. He reached out to you personally didn't he? But right now you resent him because he didn't put himself in the line of fire for you. I'm trying to tell you that the only way he could have done that is if he was in love with you. Not if he was just your friend."

As the words come at him, Xiao Zhan feels as though he has been knocked upside the head. So much so that he accurately predicts Ni Ni's next statement.

"Do you see now that the problem is your expectation? And I know that you'd prefer I don't say it, but I'm worried that if I don't you'll fumble this up again in your head and continue fighting with yourself so I'm going to give you the peace of mind that you obviously need right now."