Winter Wind (YiZhan)

56. Threat

"Zhan ge..." Yibo's breathless call replays in his mind.

And then his demand, compulsive and obstinate. "I want you... what do I have to do to get you?"

Xiao Zhan recalls his plea, earnest and searing. "You're the only one. You're the only one that I don't want to hide from."

And then his laughter. "You told me you're in love with me today. From now on everything else is going to be funny and inconsequential."

"Zhan ge... I love you."

"I fucking love you."

These words...

And so many others.

Of desire, and of yearning... and of soul deep promises.

Yibo had said them all to him, and as they begin to float through his mind, his heart begins to wrench.

Does all of it... now mean nothing?

Xiao Zhan has lived long enough to understand that to many, words are as fickle as hearts, but from the onset, he had regarded Yibo with the utmost seriousness and had never once said anything that he hadn't meant from the depth of his heart.

So why then was Yibo allowing his words to him, to turn to dust?

He stills, the cigarette still burning in neglect between his fingers as yet another conversation between him and Yibo comes to mind.

"You finally got your way," Xiao Zhan had said to him just the week before.

"What do you mean?" Yibo had asked.

"The access device to my apartment in Shamian. It'll forever be in your position now won't it? There's no longer any reason for me to ask you to return it."

He'd heard Yibo's smile through the phone.

"Even if there was a reason I still wouldn't have. I've always needed to be personally connected to you in some way."

Xiao Zhan recalls his amusement. "You've been planning on conquering me for a long time haven't you? You were never going to let go."

"I would have," Yibo had said."If you had ever rejected me, I would have. But you never have."

"I never have?"

"Never," Yibo had replied."You've ignored me and pushed me away, but you've never outrightly rejected me. Except when you blocked me last month. But even then I was still hopeful that you'd let me in again."

It is indeed true that he has never outrightly rejected Yibo, but yet Yibo has now cut him off, without a single iota of hope to hold on to.

Bitterness begins to gnaw at his insides, and it is only a few minutes later before he realizes that the chill has also seeped into his veins and frozen him numb.

He no longer feels pain, or perhaps it has just been suppressed. Instead what he feels now is a lethal anger that feels as vile as poison.

He straightens, stubs the cigarette out against the railing, and tosses it away.

"Can I use your phone?" he turns to Mei Li, and at first she is surprised. Her lips part as though to ask him what he wants with it, but something in his gaze seems to stop her.

Her mouth clamps back shut, and without a word she unlocks it and hands it over.

"Thank you," he receives it, and heads over to the far end of the balcony. He dials out Yibo's number, and places the phone to his ear.