Endlessly (Harry Styles)

Chapter 28

Chapter 28

A/N: I was in a mood for a cute chapter earlier, now I'm in a mood for a dramatic one... Okay, maybe not dramatic, bu certainly not a romantic one. Nahhhh just kidding. A chapter. I'm weird okay? That's what school does to my brain. I WANT TO GET OUT

This chapter may contain subject that can trigger something, please this is not what I intended.... if it's the case, just read the note at the end

*Hazel Murray*

                I checked my buzzing phone, a smile creeping on my face. I giggled.

From Hazza<3: Hey babe. how are you? :P
To Hazza<3: Good... I miss u
From Hazza<3: I miss u 2... You're coming in 2 days tho
To Hazza<3: I know!!! So excited to see London!
From Hazza<3: Just London? ;)
To Hazza<3: And Louis! :D
From Hazza<3: Meanie
To Hazza<3: Kidding... :) I'm excited to see u 2

''Hazel! Diner is ready!'' My mom called from downstairs.
''Coming!''

To Hazza<3: I got to go... Call u later?
From Hazza<3: Sure, I'll wait for your call... I love you
To Hazza<3: Love you too

                I closed my phone and went downstairs. I sat at the table and watched my mom put the plate in front of me. I've been here for two days now. It was great to be back in my things, but I had to pack for London now. Mom and Dad were really excited for me when I told them the new of my signing.

                When I rang at the doorbell, Mom practically jumped in my arms to hug me. She was crying so much. Dad just hugged me really tightly. It was hard for me to be as  far as them as I was, but it was worth it. Anyways... I was turning 18 in 18 days... My first birthday away from my parents. Weird. And sad, of course, but mostly weird and unfamiliar.

''So...'' My dad started, pulling me away from my thoughts. ''Who's Harry?''
My eyes widened. ''What do you mean by that?''
Dad chuckled. ''Honey, it's not because we live in the depths of Ohio that we don't know what's happening outside of this town. Everybody here is fully aware that you're dating Harry Styles.''
''Then why do you ask who he is if you already know it...?'' I mumbled, embarrassed.
''Because we know him as Harry Styles, singer in a British boys band. Not as Harry, our daughter boyfriend.''
I blushed crimson. ''Uh... yeah, about that...''
''Why didn't you tell me, Hazel?'' Mom asked. ''You called every night, but you never mentioned a relationship with Harry. I had to learn it from the medias!''
''Well... It's kind of an awkward subject, actually.'' I answered.
''Hazel, we said o funny business with the boys.'' Mom sighed.
''Susan...'' Dad started.
''No, David!'' Mom snapped. ''What were you thinking? You know how industry is...''
''Yes, but you don't chose who you fall in love with, Mom...'' I said sweetly. 
Mom froze and glared at me. ''You love him?'' She practically spat.
I rolled my eyes. ''Yes, Mom! I love him! In fact, I am in love with him! He's sweet, kind, compassionate, smart and really attractive! He's rich and he's a pop star! You should be happy!''
''Hazel, this isn't about me! I want what's best for you, and I don't think a superstar is what you need!'' Mom retorted sharply.
''He isn't just a superstar! There's a real person under that image, and I fell for that curly dimpled boy. Hard! He never fails to make me laugh, to make me smile, to make me feel better when I have doubts. He reassures me and I feel incredibly safe around him.''
''You really trust him with your heart?'' Mom asked in disbelief.
''Mom, I'd trust him with my life.'' I answered truthfully.

                Mom and I gazed at each other. I supported her eyes, not wanting to back up first. Finally, she nodded.

''Okay, then.'' I smiled widely at her words. ''But, I want to meet him.''
''Me too!'' Dad intervened.
I smiled. "Sure!"

                We finished eating, back to our normal and happy mood. After diner, I went back to my room and continued brainwashing for my first single. It had to be... wow. Flawless. Magical. It had to. I was working on it for the past two days, and I think it was starting to look like something. 

                The song talked about how lost I was before Harry, and now how scared I am to lose him. I had a few of the chords chosen on the guitar, the lyrics were almost done writing, so... I was really excited to see my song take form, but I was afraid it would be deceiving.

                At 10 P.M. I went to sleep. My last thought was about Harry and how much I missed having his arms around me while I drifted to my dreamless sleep.

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                I was writing on my music sheets. It was about ten o'clock in the morning, and I had a huge inspiration this morning. I was writing like crazy.

                Then Mom came in my room.

"Hazel, you passed your first two days back in town locked in your room. Don't you think you could go out on the third one?"
I chuckled. "Go out where? To see my imaginary friends in the park?"
Mom shot me a warning look. "Don't be rude. I just think you should get out of your room a bit. Maybe people changed their opinions on you..."
"Then that would make them hypocrites because nobody even noticed me when I wasn't famous." I said, smiling cheekily.
"Hazel..."
"Fine, Mom... I'll go to the park after lunch."

                Indeed, I dressed up and went to the park after lunch. It did feel good to walk through my hometown again. It was familiar, and after the life on the road I've been living in the past few weeks, it was strangely reassuring. My phone buzzed. I looked at the caller ID and saw Harry's dimpled face on my screen. A huge grin stretched on my face as I answered the phone.

"Hello, Haz!" I said.
"Hey, babe, how are you?"
I sighed, happy to hear his voice. "Good and you?"
"Good, but I really miss you. And I think the other boys do to."
"Aw, I miss you guys too. I can't wait to be in London!"
"It's going to be awesome!" Harry chuckled through the phone.
"Hey, where am I going to live?"
"Well, with me of course!"
"You mean, with you and Louis." I giggled. "No thanks..."
"But, Haze, he's not going to bother us, I promise! Come on, don't buy yourself a flat and go live far away from me..." I could practically see his cute pouty face.
I sighed. "Harry..."
"Hazel. Please. I want to wake up everyday and the first thing I want to see when I wake up is you. I want to fall asleep with you in my arms. I want to cook you breakfast. I want to see you in my shirts that are way too big for you."
I chuckled at that last part. "Harry,  you don't cook breakfast."
"I could learn with you." Harry replied. "Please, Haze..."
I bit my lip and gave up, shaking my head lightly. "Okay, fine. I'll come live with you."
He screamed in joy. "I'll tell Louis the new! I have to go anyways, but I love you!"
"I love you too, Harry. Bye."
"Bye."

                I hung up on him, because I knew we wouldn't if we stayed longer. Three days without him seemed incredibly long. I missed him and his curls every second. His sweet kisses. His cheeky smiles. His adorable dimples. His dorky comments.

                It's crazy how Harry took a huge chunk of my heart in just the few weeks I was with him.

                A snarly voice pulled me out of my daydreaming about Harry.

"Well, well... If it isn't our national idiot who came back..."

                I turned around and saw Samantha and Aaron. Of course. Out of the 30,000 people in this freaking town I had to cross thw two that hated me the most.

"If it isn't the two people that despise me the most... Joy." I mumbled.

                Living with 5 boys... Sorry, I'll restart that. Living with 5 immature boys, and one of them (Louis) being a sass master, I got quite used to reply to snaky comment. It wasn't such a good idea with them, though...

"You shut up." Aaron rudely ordered. 
"You think you're better than us just because you got discovered? Girl, get your facts straight: you were an ugly idiot when you left town, now you're a disgusting slut.  I heard you were 'dating' Harry? I bet he's just dating you because he feels bad for you and your miserable life. Or better, his management took you as a charity project."

                I knew that I should know better than to listen to her, but her words stung. 

"Hazel, I think we're the only one kind enough to you to tell you that nobody fucking cares about you. You could die, for all we care." Samantha continued. "You're a mean person, you're pathetic. Look at what you're wearing, it's disgusting. You dress like a whore. And, I'm sorry to say it to you, but your singing sucks."

                I swallowed the lump in my throat and looked at my feet, trying to ignore her. You could die for all we care... Is it true? NO!

"You shut up, Samantha! You're a bitch who doesn't do anything else in her life than just try to ruin mine. Let me tell you, I will not let you!" I yelled at her.

                If Samantha seemed surprised, Aaron growled.

"What makes you think you can speak to us like that?" 
"Oh, why don't you just shut the Hell up, Aaron? You lower the IQ of the whole town." (A/N: Okay, I totally stole that line from Sherlock...)

                I turned my back at them and walked away. I was proud of myself. I stood up in front of my bullies for the first time in my life. I took a deep breath and continued my walk as if nothing happened.

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                I was walking downtown around 6 o'clock when something grabbed me and pulled me in a small avenue. I tried to resist as hard as I could, but I wasn't strong enough. I opened my mouth to scream, but a dirty hand clasped on my mouth, shutting me up.

"Now, listen closely, idiot. One yell, and I will beat you to death." Aaron's growled at me.

                My back was against the wall and Aaron was basically over me. One of his arm was on my neck, choking me a bit, while his other hand was still on my mouth. Samantha was nowhere in sight. I bit him really hard to release myself. Aaron let me go with a loud curse and I ran away. He tackled me on the ground before I had time to make five steps. I muffled a yell of fear and pain.

"Shouldn't have done that." Aaron hissed, pissed off. "You should die, and let us all live in peace. You're ugly, worthless. Nobody likes you, nobody wants you. I bet your parents even thought of just leaving you for adoption. You're lucky they didn't, because you wouldn't have left the orphanage until you're 18. Why can't you just die?"

                 Then, the pain started.

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                I faked a smile at my mom, said hi to my dad, and went in my room. There, I grabbed a pajamas, and went in my bathroom to take a shower. I groaned in pain as I stripped down my shirt and my shorts. I went under the water, appreciating the warmth and the confort of the water.

                The dirt went away, but the pain and the words stayed.

                Aaron has beaten me up badly. My hole stomach was covered in bruises, same goes for my arms and my back. I even had a few on my leg. Some places, Aaron hit them so hard the skin has slotted and it was bleeding. I thank the God I was way too ugly for him to abuse me sexually... 

                I sat down in the shower and let the water sooth me a bit.

                Aaron was right though... Why can't I just die?

                I want to die.

                My gaze was automatically pulled towards the razor blades. No... Cutting the wrist open was way too painful and slow. I needed something else... My eyes wandered to the cupboard, where I kept my medication against depression. I still had enough pills left for an overdose... That would be fast and painless.

                Am I ready for this?


MEDIA PICTURE: LILY COLLINS AS HAZEL
A/N: sorry, I have to end this chapter here :P  
please, it is very important that you realize that abuse, bullying, self-harm and suicide isn't a subject to laugh about. It's horrible to think that people hate their lives so much they want to end it. Please, don't cause that to anybody. Or, on the contrary, don't be the person to give up your life because of somebody else. You're beautiful and remember that, even when you think no one loves you,  I DO LOVE YOU! 

bye bye lovelies :)