Endlessly (Harry Styles)

Chapter 29

    Hazel's way of speaking is kind of boring right now, and there's a reason for that. It's to show how hard it is for her. She's trying to be a bit emotionless. 

*Harry Styles* 

                I was so excited. Today was the day Hazel was coming in England. She was going to move in Louis and I's flat in London with us. I was just so happy to see her again I barely slept last night. This morning I woke up really early, even though her flight wouldn't land before 9 o'clock tonight.

                We didn't really talk on the phone for a few days though. We just texted. I knew something was off, but every times I saw her texting me that she was fine, I decided to respect her and leave it alone. But it didn't mean that I didn't care.

                I was really scared when I texted that I loved her and she didn't reply for hours Wednesday.

                She finally did the day after, but she didn't say she loved me back, just that she was sorry that she didn't reply. Her texts took longer to arrive on Thursday and Friday.

                Today was Saturday July 10th. Today Hazel was coming back.

*Hazel Murray*

                I didn't take any pills, or cut my wrist open. I couldn't. I wasn't ready. Now I felt guilty because I didn't do it... People were now forced to live with me because I was too much of a coward to end my life myself.

                I was happy to leave the town. Maybe I could find a purpose in London... Next to Harry. I didn't want to distance myself from him, but every times I texted him and he told me he loved me, Samantha and Aaron's words replayed in my mind. In those moments, I just wanted to go find the pills I didn't have the courage to take before and just end it. Why didn't I do it? I was terrified of death. 

                Fortunately, Aaron is smart, unlike me. He didn't touch my face, leaving it intact. The rest of my body I could hide, but not my face. Plus, he hurt me just enough so every time I moved my whole body would hurt, but not enough for me to not move. And he knew that I wouldn't say a word about this. I never did, why should I start now?

                This beating was probably as far as Aaron ever went to hurt me... A bit more and I would have died.

                My eyes flickered to the bathroom's door, and I shuddered. To be true, I have to admit that I kind of avoided the bathroom the past 2 days. I was so close to taking those pills... I had the glass of water next to, already filled, and the five pills were in my hand. I took the glass o water but dropped in on the floor before I could actually drink from it.

                Whatsoever...

               I got dressed took my big suitcase and tried to lift it up. I groaned in pain as the bruises that covered my body ached in pain.

''Are you okay, Honey?'' My dad asked from downstairs.
''Yes... My suitcase is just too big for me...''
''Oh, let me help you...''

                Dad came in my room, grabbed my huge suitcase and took it in the car. I sat down at the back while Mom rode shotgun. Dad drove us to the airport. My parents decided to accompany me to England and 'Help me install myself in the flat'... I knew that it was clearly to 'Meet the boyfriend and judge him'.  

                In the airport, I wore sun sunglasses to stay incognito. Fortunately, the only two girls that recognized me stayed calm an only asked me my autograph. I nervously signed their piece of paper, looking around to see if anybody else saw me. But why would people care anyways? I' worthless anyways.