Endlessly (Harry Styles)

Chapter 52

  *Hazel Murray*

I strummed on my guitar lightly humming my new song. I was quite happy the way it sounded. I wrote down the last few notes on the sheets in front of me before taking a sip of my hot coffee, since we were out of hot chocolate this morning. Harry was sick this week, and apparently the title of girlfriend comes with the job of nursing him when the poor baby is ill. That meant loads of soup, hot coco, Disney movies and listening to incessant whining from my childish boyfriend. I didn't have time to go to the grocery store, hence the lack of chocolate in this house.

"Angel? What are you doing up so early?"
"You were snoring, I couldn't sleep, I decided to finish my song." I said. "I hope I didn't wake you up."
"Well, you could have if I was stopping you from sleeping." Harry replied, coming in our music room, shirtless and looking sexy and hot as hell like always.

His hair was wild from the night we had and his sweatpants were hanging low on his hips, letting his v-line appear. Harry didn't have the six pack so many girls said he had, but he was fit. Beside his pants, the only thing he had on was the gold cross I got him for his birthday. I bit my lip as Harry came and sat down behind me, kissing my bare shoulder. I closed my eyes and hummed in appreciation as his nose grazed my skin, puckering kisses down on my skin.

"Was I right, or not?"
"About what?"
"Buying a house. Now we have all the privacy in the world and I can do this." He whispered, nipping at my ear, causing me to moan.
I giggled. "I never said you were wrong, Haz."

Three months have passed. The boys were back on Tour with their new album and the Take Me Home Tour. They were currently on a break from the UK part, and they were going back to the Tour buses on March 31th, in two days. It sucked that Harry got sick when we were together for the first time in months, but I'd rather him be sick when I'm there to take care of him. I had my own UK Tour right after New Year, from January 22nd to February 26th. I took one break to be with Harry on his birthday, and Harry flew to see me on Valentine's day. Between Louis's birthday and the beginning of my Tour, we had the time to find yourselves a lovely house, just at the edge of London. We decided to wait to get a pet, since we both couldn't really be with it at this time. I was leaving a day after the boys for the Australian part of my Tour, while One Direction would finish their UK Tour. The next time we would most likely see each other again was on my next break, if I could manage to fly to one of their concert. That would be around April 19th, when they'll be in Manchester.

It was hard. Harder than I thought it would be. Being apart from Harry was physically painful, even though it was worth it. I was lucky I had Joey on Tour with me to keep my mind straight― even though he is far from it.

Harry kissed sweetly my cheek, probably sensing my sadness.

"Hey, what are you thinking about, babe?"
"You, me, us. This." I answered, motioning to the house.
"In good, I hope." Harry chuckled, not understanding how serious I was.
"Harry, I love you with all my heart, to the Moon and beyond, but do you understand how hard it is?"
He looked offended. "Of course I do."
"No you don't."
"I hate being far from you too, you know? I hate only being able to call you and text you, not being able to hold you or kiss you. I hate not living in this house we bought together, living the life we want to built together. Don't act as if you are the only one suffering." He snapped coldly, pulling away.

I sighed and wrapped my tiny arms around his torso, not letting him try to escape me. He tensed, but then relaxed at my touch. Two things I noticed about him: he loves fleeing away from the problems and he cannot resist me. Second one is good, the first one, not so much.

"I'm not trying to pick a fight, Haz." I murmured. "But you've got to put yourself in my place. I don't have four of my best friend always with me. Normally I'm all alone in my hotel room doing nothing but listen to bad western movies. When I'm on stage, I don't goof around like you do. I just stay pretty, play my music, smile and wave. My management doesn't even want me talking to the fans." I shot Harry a pained look. "Further than that, I'm far from my boyfriend, and I get to have him only a few days in months. My best friend is with him, and my brothers too. My family is on an entire different continent, and the few friends I have are or on Tour, or in another country."

Harry's green orbs were staring at me.

"What are you implying there, Haze?"
"I'm not happy." The words blurted out of my mouth before I could stop them. I looked shamefully at the ground, avoiding Harry's stunned expression.
"What? Hazel, how could you not tell me this before?"
"I thought that if I tried, I would be happy, but I'm just not..." I was on the verge of crying. Stupid depression medication that made me have some up and downs in my mood.
"Isn't this your dream?"
I shook my head. "Harry, my dream was to be happy on stage. My dream was to make music for making music. But this, this just feels fake. I'm not me on stage. I'm a Barbie doll they use to make a shit ton of money without caring for her well-being. And instead of enjoying fully the music I make, I have to deliver, every freaking night, a new show, or meet fake fans, and try to look happy about it."
"So you just want to quit it? Everything we worked for?"
My eyes widened. "No, of course not. I just... I don't think touring is my forte. I think it'd be best if I finished this Tour, and stick to song-writing and album-making in the future. I could write songs for other artists, maybe. Do a couple of shows per months, or something like that. I don't know." I started rambling, my thoughts confused and scared of what Harry will say.
"Haze, you should have talked of it before." Harry sighed, as if he was in front of a child.
I frowned. "You couldn't have done anything about it anyways. I was on Tour somewhere in UK and you were working here. Then you went on Tour, and I was working here."
"I know this isn't ideal, but it will get better, I promise, Haze. You're just a bit homesick." Harry tried to be optimistic.
I chuckled darkly. "Homesick? Just a bit homesick? Harry, let's face it, you're stupidly in love with a depressed singer who can't even do her job properly!" I choked on my last words, and started coughing, before taking a deep breath, pushing the tears back. "I'm sorry."

Harry just pulled me in a hug and kissed my hair.

"Hey, there's nothing to be sorry about. We all had our breakdowns the first Tour we do. I had mine, Louis had his. Niall too, Liam too, Zayn too. Even Ed called me almost crying saying he was going to give up everything." Harry kissed my lips softly. "Thing is, Haze, you can't give up on something like this that easily. Music is in your blood, being on stage is natural for you. Maybe your management isn't the best, and I'll go talk to Simon about it. But giving up, it's not going to solve anything. Finish your Tour, we'll find a way to see each other more often. Then after, we'll see and figure something out. But hold on, okay?"

"Okay." I nodded. "Thank you."
"You're welcome. I love you."
"I love you too. Now, did you eat breakfast?"
"No."
"Good, then let's go out."
"What?" I asked.
"I'm taking you out on a date today, no discussion."
"As if I was going to argue with you for that."
"You never know. But first, let me hear that song."

A huge smile came upon my lips as I started laughing. Harry gave me that devilish grin that showed his dimples off, happy that he made me laugh.

"Fine then. It's not done yet, but it soon will be." I winked. "If you give me the inspiration of course."
"Go on, I'll see what I can do."

I giggled and started strumming on my guitar, then sang the lyrics, softly serenading Harry.

"You think I'm pretty without any makeup on
You think I'm funny when I tell the punch line wrong
I know you get me
So I let my walls come down, down."

"Before you met me I was alright
But things were kinda heavy
You brought me to life
Now every February, you'd be my Valentine, Valentine."

"Let's go all the way tonight
No regrets, just love
We can dance until we die, you and I
We'll be young forever."

"You make me feel like I'm living a
Teenage dream
The way you turn me on
I can't sleep
Let's run away and don't ever look back, don't ever look back.
My heart stops when you look at me
Just one touch, now baby I believe
This is real
So take a chance and don't ever look back, don't ever look back."

"We drove to Cali and got drunk on the beach
Got a motel and built a fort out of sheets
I finally find you
My missing puzzle piece, puzzle piece"

"Let's go all the way tonight
No regrets, just love
We can dance until we die, you and I
We'll be young forever."

"You make me feel like I'm living a
Teenage dream
The way you turn me on
I can't sleep
Let's run away and don't ever look back, don't ever look back.
My heart stops when you look at me
Just one touch, now baby I believe
This is real
So take a chance and don't ever look back, don't ever look back."

I stopped and looked at Harry, who was happily surprised.

"That's all I have for now."
"Well, let's go out, maybe I'll be your muse." He flipped his hair back, making me laugh.
"Well, my muse, go get dressed and tame your hair so we can leave."
"Loads of girls would be happy with how I am now." Harry snickered.
"That, we know." I giggled. "Now go shower, I'm going to get dressed."

Twenty minutes later, we were walking in the quiet neighborhood we chose. There was a nice lunch place we both loved, that was just down by a small river. Ten minutes later of walking, we were in front of it. The weather was a bit chilly, but it was weirdly sunny for a March afternoon in Britain.

The hostess saw us and greeted us with a large smile, recognizing us.

"Harry, Hazel, how are you? It's been a while!"
"We're fine, what about you, Mandy?" I answered politely.
"Very well, thank you. How is Tour going?"
"Good." I smiled courtly, trying to make it sound as real as possible.
"Very nice." Harry told Amanda.
"That's good, so table for two?"

Harry goofy as ever turned around, looking for invisible people around us.

"Yeah, I guess it will be for two." He then said, making Mandy blush.
"Right sorry."
I rolled my eyes and squeezed Harry's hand, making him chuckle. "Excuse him, he's being stupid."
"But you love me."
"Of course I do. Or else why would I support your consistent whining?" I playfully replied.
Harry mouth fell in a mock of hurt. "You did not just say that!"
"What if I did?"
"Then you need to be punished!" His eyebrows wiggled suggestively and I turned crimson.
"Okayyyy, Mandy, our table please." I said, looking at the highly uncomfortable hostess in front of us.

She nodded and hurriedly took us to our table, leaving us very soon after. She was literally running away from us.

"You're an idiot!" I whispered-yelled at Harry, making him chuckle loudly.
"That I am. Now shall we?"

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We came back home late that night, fiercely kissing and undressing each other. My shirt was already gone with my lace bra, leaving me in my tight jeans. Harry, was in his boxer already, his hands and mouth all over my body.

"I missed this." He grumbled against the skin of my neck, making me giggle.
"Since what, last night?"
"We should be doing this all the time."
"You won't even last the night." I mocked him, making him look at me, the lust pure in his eyes.
"Is that a challenge, Mrs. Murray."
"What if it is, Mr. Styles?"
"Then I'll gladly take it."

We went back to passionate kissing, when I started laughing. Harry was confused.

"What's funny?"
"I just found the bridge of my song."
"Yeah? What is it?" He bit my neck, making me moan.

I tried to sing, but must have sounded horrible because of the groans I was releasing as Harry nipped my neck.

"Let you put your hands on me
In my skin tight jeans
Be your teenage dream tonight.
Let you put your hands on me
In my skin tight jeans
Be your teenage dream tonight."

"Sounds amazing, but can we take it to the bed now?"
"Fine, you horny bastard."
"Only for you, Angel."