Burning Out

09- crashing conflicts

Song- Take What You Want by Post Malone

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My head floods with overwhelming confusion.

Olly left the office multiple hours before me, he should be here by now. Stoke was talking about his new car which means that he's already bought it. 

The mental fatigue from the day is starting to drain me and my brain is struggling to conjure up a reasonable explanation as to where he might me. I collapse onto the sofa and bring my phone to my ear between my chipped painted nails. The rings of the call painfully reflect into my ears before it cuts dead.

"Olly Rowlands voicemail, please leave a message after the tone"

Great, now he's not answering his phone either. This is so unlike Olly, I would've expected him to at least send me a text and tell me he won't be at home when I arrive.

Olly's heart is made of pure gold and he wouldn't want me worrying about his location and safety, I'm sure he could protect himself but it's still worrying. 

My mind is quickly shutting down with tiredness taking over, I lean my head back onto the edge of the soft sofa as my eyelids get heavy. I fight to keep my consciousness, feeling the need to make sure Olly is okay, but the past two days have been too much and drawn out too much energy from me. I haven't had a proper night sleep since we arrived.

I feel the black surrounding me, like a blanket which is enclosing me in it's soft fibres. My confused thoughts fade out until they are indecipherable and my tired senses slow down until they blur out completely.

I've never had a good relationship with sleep, I feel like sleeping is just a movie trailer for death. The nothingness and emptiness, when you're unconciouss you are oblivious to the state you're in. I think that when you die, you're trapped in a sleeping-like state for the rest of eternity.

My senses are jutted back to life as the loud sound of the front door clanking rings into my ears. My eyes fly open and I immediately sit up, but the instant dizziness from quick movement hits me first, meaning that my vision is lost again.

I pinch my eyes to attempt to rid the stars floating in my sight and a sudden panic flushes into my body. What if it's the same person that was following me earlier.

I have no concept of what the time is, apart from the knowledge that it is still night by the dark gloom descending in through the large windows.

"Come with me for a drive," are the first words I pick up, my eyes still clamped together.

I slowly release the pressure and let my eyelids separate, the first sight I capture is Olly's tired face. It looks washed out and weary. His hair is a messy nest on top of his head and his eyes have dire black circles beneath them.

"What happened to you?" I immediately stand up at his shocking appearance and grasp his hands in mine. They're freezing cold as I wrap them in mine, the icy feeling making me shiver.

My worried voice seems to make him uncomfortable as he brushes me off and sits onto the sofa. I look down at him as I tower over his body. He looks up at me tentatively, his eyes are much less of a bright green but are now dark and haunting as they stare up at me.

"Nothing, I just went on a long drive in my new car." He says the words delicately, although I can tell the gentleness is a facade and the actual tone of his voice is hostile. I'm perplexed as to why Olly would be so hostile towards me, he's never acted this way and I've never seen him look this way before.

Irritation itches at me as the combination of his guarded tone and lack of communication mix. "Why didn't you text me or let me know where you were?"

His eyes soften as he realises the worry he's caused for me, and he looks at me with sympathy, "I'm sorry Farrah, I really am. I lost my phone and at this time of night there's no shops open to buy a new one."