Affection | Jenlisa

Letting Go

At kung masaya ka sa piling niya (And if you are happy with them)

Hindi ko na pipilit pa (Then I won't insist anymore)

Ang tanging hiling ko lang sakanya (My only wish is)

'Wag kang paluhain (They won't make you cry)

At alagaan ka niya (And that they take care of you)

-

People say that in the art of letting go, it's not the goodbye that hurts the most-It's the memories that will come flooding back. It's sad how you are forced to tolerate pain since healing takes time. Sometimes, you long to go back to the days that a scratch or small bleed are the only reasons that would make you cry. You used to cry out loud to make people know that you are hurting inside. But now, you hide it as much as you can. Especially to those whom you loved.

What happened to us?

It was me who was wrapped in your arms, but it's him in your mind.

-

"Lisa." Her voice trembled as she said my name. That same voice used to call me with endearment.

The voice that I thought I'd hear say 'I do' was the same voice that I didn't expect to say 'Let's end this'. I sighed as I heard her approach behind me. I tried not to look back, but how can I? It was her. The love of my life. The one who built me to be the woman that I am right now. But also, the one who destroyed my fragile heart. Some may say that she was the one that got away. But to me, she was the one I needed to let go. Because I knew, even if it hurt, we weren't meant for each other.

We’re just two people on a journey who coincidentally saw each other on the way to find their one true love. It just so happened that we accidentally fell in love with each other in the process.

"Jennie." I replied as I looked back at her with a smile.

My tears have already dried up from months of weeping. So, looking back at her now was somewhat easier. There were no more tears but the emotions remained. Of course, it would, who in their right mind could forget 8 years worth of a relationship? I didn't, and I also knew she didn't as well.

"It's been so long, how are you?" She softly asked with a smile. She questioned me as if we were two old friends separated by distance or time. Or some kind of acquaintance who just saw each other in that museum by chance. But I knew she meant well. She always has been genuine with her words. Like abstract art, different people may interpret the art differently but the painter will always see it as I made it. I always saw her as someone true. For that, I loved her-a lot.

"I'm good," I replied back with a tight-lipped smile. I wasn't lying. I was good. I was doing well. The pain was there, but I didn't let myself be fazed by it. "I see you're getting big over there." I teased her, just like old times.

"Oh yeah, the girls are giving me a headache." She happily said and chuckled as she rubbed her belly.

I smiled at her action. "Well, the fruit isn't far from the tree."

"Hey!" She retorted back at me.

"What? Don't even deny it. We both know it's true!" I exclaimed.

"You never change, Lili!" She pouted like a kid as she rolled her eyes at me then smirked.

We both laughed it out. Bliss. It's been a long time since I felt such happiness. I observed her as she laughed at their banter. It was just like old times.