Affection | Jenlisa

My Lie For You (1) ★

Inspired by this song | "Lie by Jimin"

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Lisa hates playing truth or dare. Always has.

To be more specific, she hates the 'truth' part of truth or dare. Dares are fine. She'll do whatever - get people gasping, "I can't believe you did that!" - anything, so long as she can avoid 'truth'.

That's because Lisa lives a lie. Yes, I'm fine. I'm happy with my life right now. People want to believe it, so they never stop to question. After all, she's one of the most popular girls at school, blessed with good genes and rich parents. She gets everything she wants, she has solid seeming friendships, and classmates clamouring to talk to her. Guys and girls show interest in her. That's what it means to be admired. Lisa has everything that leads to happiness, everything... except her.

And so every day Lisa lies. Every morning she wakes up, rubs the sleep from her eyes, and repeats, "I'm okay, I'm happy, I'm not in love." But she's not okay, she's not happy, and she's hopelessly in love.

Yet, she keeps up this pretence, all because Jennie made her feelings clear long ago:

"Lisa-yah, what would you do if you fell in love with me?" Jennie question caught her off guard as the two of them walked home from school five years ago.

"What? What are you talking about all of a sudden?"

Jennie shrugged. "I'm just asking..."

"I would never fall in love with you," Lisa responded quickly. At the time it wasn't a lie, not completely. She was still too young to understand what the butterflies in her stomach meant.

"Good," Jennie was satisfied, showing Lisa with her gummy smile when she smiled.

"Why?"

"Just." When Jennie only gave her a one word answer Lisa poked her side, and Jennie twisted away. "No, it tickles!"

"Tell me why."

"Because. If you fall in love with me we won't be friends anymore. Friends can't love love each other."

"They can't?"

"No. But they can love each other."

At first Lisa didn't understand the difference between love and love love, but over the years Jennie did her best to explain it to her. As Jennie put it - love is what she feel for friends, for family - it's warm and solid and unquestionable. It's a comfort, like hot chocolate, like a hug from her parents, like her favourite song on the radio. Love love, on the other hand, is what she feel for one person only - it's hot and passionate and consuming. It's uncomfortable, like an itch she can't reach, like a sneeze that won't come out, like a wound left beneath a plaster. At least that's what it is for Lisa. Maybe love love feels better when it's reciprocated.

But Lisa doesn't know. Jennie never show her anything but love, the friendly kind. And when Jennie check, "Lisa, do you love me?" Lisa response is always, "Of course." But Jennie never ask "Do you love love me?" because Jennie don't want to hear the answer. This friendship is too precious to complicate with out-of-place feelings.

So Lisa keeps up this lie, let's it swallow her up. It unhinges it's jaws like a snake, and she slips down its throat, into the stomach where, slowly, she dissolves.

But Lisa always find a ways to survive. If she can't have her, she'll take other girls, a new face every week, whispering the words she desperately wants to tell her, and imagining Jennie while her lips softly kiss a stranger's. In return for her life of lies - Jennie stay by her side, fingers barely grazing hers, wobbling on the border of friendship. But as soon as Lisa façade falls apart, spilling tears and truth, she knows Jennie will flit away to find a new best friend.