Shattered Souls

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Be prepared for some tears


Four months after the crash almost a year ago 3rd Person POV

"It is an honor to be in the O.R. with you." Jo sucks up to Gen as she assists on a surgery femur repair on a child that was crushed in an accident.

"Kissing my ass will get you nowhere Wilson." Gen snaps and Jo starts to sweat. She sees her fellow interns watching from the gallery.

"Uh sorry, Dr..."

"Wilson, why did you want to be a doctor?" Gen interrupts.

"Uh sorry..."

"It's a basic question that you should have answered in your personal statement. And since I'm assuming you did get into medical school. I will repeat the question why did you become a doctor?" Gen quickly does a move that has Jo awestricken at her skills.

"I wanted to do something meaningful. I didn't have a perfect idyllic childhood and...being a doctor means I can make a difference. Like how the doctors who have helped me in my life."

"That's your answer?" Gen questions Jo.

"Uh sorry, it..."

"Your answer to going into medicine was you wanted to make a difference?"

"It's a valid reason and isn't that why anyone goes into medicine?" Jo questions.

"It is if you don't want to do more than what is asked of you." Gen replies.

"I'm sorry Dr. Benoist I'm not following." Jo admits. She sees her fellow interns chatting away about her

"I'll ask another question. Why did you go into surgery? Why not another specialty? Oncology is making a difference every day in people's lives. Helping them live and sometimes even beat cancer. Family medicine. They literally follow a patient sometimes throughout their whole life. They can spot something referring them to a specialty. Internal medicine goes in looking for giant puzzles trying to see the whole picture to diagnosis their patients. So they and so many other health care specialties make a difference. So why surgery?" Gen repeats.

"It's the rush. It's my own personal brand of heroin...oh I'm sorry Dr. Benoist I was not meaning that I am into heroin or anything it just is..."

"No, it's an accurate description. Surgery is addictive. Throughout my intern and residency, I would do anything to hold a scalpel. But the rush is not enough to want to be a surgeon."

"Oh there is so much more I...I love the constant learning and..." Jo is getting more embarrassed by the second. She is hating the spotlight.

"I had my heart set on surgery and medicine after I held my first scalpel. I accidentally signed up for an anatomy class in college. I needed a science credit and I was told wrongfully so I should sign up for anatomy."

"You weren't always a science major?" Jo asks surprised. Gen shakes her head.

"I had all intentions to go to law school and help with the family business like most of my siblings have done. But the first time we dissected a heart I finally felt like I found my calling. Other people in my class were terrified of touching the heart despite wanting to go into healthcare. For the first time, I was not afraid. I cut open that heart and I was amazed that I was holding a heart that was once in an animal's body. I was holding something I've never seen in my life. I was in love with the idea of medicine and the pure joy I felt from dissecting the heart and suturing it back up is the same pure joy I get every time I perform surgery. Surgery is the one branch of medicine that mixes art and science perfectly together. I can be as creative as possible. I can change procedures based on a case and I could come on a new revelation. Surgery is the one place where I don't fear the unknown. In fact, I embrace it. The unknown is what pushes me to learn. To learn so that the list of what I don't know diminishes." Gen explains to Jo.

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