Mending Broken Hearts-2

Heartstrings and Chaos

How do you feel about Grey's being picked up for season 19?"

Gen's POV

"Wow, you...that was amazing." I breathe heavily as I come down from my high.

"I take that as the highest form of compliment." Mark smirks as we just lay there in bed.

"I can handle it, you know. The dark stuff you're hiding from me. I can handle it." Mark turns his head to look at me.

"Gen."

"I don't know if you remember it or not, but...about six years ago, there was a mass shooting at the hospital. A disgruntled patient of Derek's blamed him for his wife's death. So he took his pain out on any surgeon, medical staff, Derek, and whoever he felt needed to die. We were going to our egg retrieval appointment when we heard shots fired. I saw a colleague of mine dead on the floor with a bullet wound in the middle of her head." I wipe away my tear. "You covered my face and head and tried to get us out of there, but when the elevator opened, we found Alex shot and bleeding to death. We worked together to stop the bleeding, but someone needed to get more supplies. I was a resident then, and...Alex was in better hands with you than me, so I carefully looked for a cart. I almost made it back, but...the gunman stopped me. He held the gun pointed right at me, and...he shot me in the shoulder because I resembled Lexie enough, and he blamed her because she was the one to turn off his wife's machine."

"You don't have to share this..." I place my hand on top of his.

"I want to." I smile at him. "I spent months in severe PTSD. I couldn't handle loud noises, abrupt motions, and anything I felt was terrifying to me. For a long time, I locked myself in the bathroom of our apartment because it was the only door that had a lock. You stayed with me and...never left my side despite me being irrational..."

"You went through a lot." Mark defends. "I remember moments of that time, and...not all of it makes sense, but I know this. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for."

"Then you should know I can handle it. Tell me what's been bothering you. I want to...no, I need to know." I plead with him. Mark lets out a big sigh.

"With the memories that are coming back...I realized how selfish and destructive I was. I don't deserve love after what I've done."

"We're all destructive and selfish, Mark. But everyone deserves love." I argue. He shakes his head.

"People just...have just ignored the horrible things I've done, but...I can never forget them."

"I wanted to kill you for the pain you caused me." I share.

"See, that's..."

"Wait." I hold up my hand, stopping him. "You caused me so much pain and...I never thought I could forgive you, but...I experienced loss and tragedy that made me think if I were to die tomorrow, what would I regret." I hold Mark's hand and make him look at me. "My main regrets was not being closer with my family and...not seeing if we could have made anything work."

"Really?"

"I saw people die in front of me, and the person they wanted to say their last words to was the person they loved most in life. I saw my friend almost go through with a wedding because it's what she felt like what was expected, and...she lost part of herself along the way. You did shitty and unforgivable things, but...I still had love for you."

"I don't know why."

"After the plane crash, I was withdrawn and not myself. You were there for me every second of the way, never letting my depression take over my life. You have supported me in everything I've wanted to do. You believe in me even when I don't. I know it will take you time to come to grips with the past, but..." I place my hand on his face. "Just know that I forgive you, and you need to learn to forgive yourself. I'm not going anywhere. I love you, Mark Sloan, and you don't have to prove yourself to me."