Harry Holland Imagines vol.1

Mental Illness vol.1

You and Harry have been having a lot of arguments recently. 90% of them have been caused by you. Harry's short fuse doesn't help the situation.
What he doesn't know is how much of a battle you've been having with your mental health the last couple of days.
It's a Thursday night, you and him usually watch a movie & have a takeaway on a Thursday night but instead you've taken yourself to bed early before dinner.
You lay on your side of the bed in the master bedroom, you're wearing your pjs with Harrys green Carhartt sweatshirt on top, you have the duvet over your shoulders as you lay on your side, your eyes fixated on the wall as you try to hold back the tears as your mind rambles on, not giving you a moment to think for yourself.
Harry huffs as he walks into the bedroom still pissed off from the argument you two had previously in the evening.
"Are you going to sulk in here all night? Or can we order something for dinner?" He says in a snotty tone,
The tone in his voice pushes you over the edge and you start to cry, the tears flow uncontrollably.
Harry sighs softly and crawls into the bed behind you, he kisses your shoulder as he places a hand under the duvet and slides it onto your hip bone. "I'm sorry for yelling at you earlier" he says softly with his lips still pressing on your shoulder "I love you" he whispers as he leans up and kisses your ear.
You shake your head finding it hard to form a sentence to explain how you're feeling at this moment in time.
"I just wish I could take my brain out of my head.. I just need a break and I can't take a break from myself" you say with a sob, Harry let's out a sympathetic sigh
"I'm sorry princess" he says softly rubbing his thumb on your hip, not really knowing what to say to make you feel better.
You sniffle trying to catch your breath before you try to explain it a little bit more "I feel nothing but numbness and anger.. I'm angry that I can't control my brain & it's thoughts and I'm angry that I'm angry. I don't feel happy, I don't feel sad.. I feel like an empty shell of the person I'm meant to be"
"How long have you felt like this darling?" Harry says as he moves your hair away from your face to let you have some more breathing space
"Since last Thursday" you sniffle "I woke up in an odd mood & it hasn't shifted" you say as you turn over to face him you cuddle into his chest hoping it would calm you down but it does the opposite, you break down into tears as you hide your face in his chest. Harry pulls you closer and holds you tightly, kissing the top of your head
"It's going to be okay angel, I promise.. I'm going to be here for you and we can work through this together. I know I need to work on my anger & now I know why we were getting on like a red rag to a bull all week. We will call up the doctors in the morning and we will get an appointment and we will get you some help, okay?.. you're not alone in this and I love you so much" he says as he rests his head on top of yours
"You're not going to leave me?" You ask halfway through a sob
Harry frowns slightly as he rubs your back "of course not, It was pure luck that I was able to get you.. I'm not letting a little blip ruin what we have. I love you and your brain, even when it does go a little crazy sometimes" he says with a small smile.
You look up with an sniffle and laugh softly "How do you always find a way to make me laugh even when I feel like my life is falling to pieces" you say with a small smile.
Harry leans down and says "it's because we're soulmates" he smiles before he kisses your lips softly.
He pulls back slightly "pizza?" He asks quietly.
You nod.