When yet another curveball puts Andy and Lex's relationship into serious jeopardy, the stakes become higher than they've ever been, forcing the couple to fight not only for their love but also for their lives.
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Life see...
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By thinking things couldn't possibly get lower, I had jinxed it. I had jinxed my entire life, my entire future. Things could get worse. Things could get so much worse.
Pacing alone in my room with a mix of anxiety and worry, I tried to wrap my head around the fact that I might be with child. Tammy had quickly left my room to send Darius on an emergency trip to the nearest place that sold pregnancy tests.
This couldn't be happening. It was impossible. My IUD was good for at least another three years. The probabilities of me being pregnant were ridiculous, regardless of how much sex Lex and I had been having. But even if the odds were highly unlikely, it was still possible. It wouldn't be the first time a nearly perfect contraception failed.
The harder I thought about it, the more it made sense. The mood swings, the crying, the nausea... I'd put all of this on the messed up situation, but what if those were symptoms? What if I was really pregnant?
Flattening a hand over my stomach, right where there possibly was a small life growing, I tried to think of the consequences it would bring. Now was about the worst possible moment to have a child. My life was a mess, everything was crumbling around me, I didn't even know if Lex would get out.
Thinking of Lex suddenly reminded me I wasn't the only one concerned by the issue.
What would he think of this? What would he want? How would he react?
Although we'd spoken about having children, we'd done it in a hypothetical way, thinking of it as a thing of the future. Even if Lex was out right now and none of the mess was happening, he might still have been opposed to having a baby so early. For fuck's sake, we hadn't even been dating for six months. Even I would have been against having this child, knowing we could have all the time in the world to do it at a better time. Or at least all the time my body would allow.
I wanted kids, I really did, especially with him. But not right now. I wasn't ready to be a mom. Not even near prepared for it. But this was possibly the only way we would ever have a child. Federal prisons didn't allow conjugal visits, and even if they did, Lex wouldn't let me see him again if he was convicted.
If I was indeed pregnant, if there was a tiny little life growing within me, half-him and half-me, this could be my only shot at ever holding our baby in my arms. Unless he came out, of course.
The hope that I was pregnant, and the idea of keeping it, made its way into my mind. The odds weren't looking good for Lex. I had no insurance he'd be free despite all the wishful thinking I forced onto myself. This could be the only way he'd ever have a legacy, the only way his incredible genes would be passed on. Somehow, a part of him would keep on living in the outside world, and it felt as if it was the least I could do.
I could see it, how I'd raise our baby to be an amazing person, seeing Lex more and more as the child grew. The thought of having a baby boy, a mini Lex, had me hoping even harder I was pregnant. A beautiful boy with steel-gray eyes, dark hair, and a remarkable intellect. A tiny genius taking after his incredible father.
