Eleven Months [A Bensler Fan Fic]

Thirty-Four

"Baby, I'm sorry." Elliot whispered, and Olivia just ignored him as she adjusted the blanket that was wrapped around her daughter.

"Elliot, she's not happy with you. Maybe you should give her the night and come back in the morning to see her again." Alex whispered as she moved to where Elliot stood.

"That's my wife and daughter, Alex. I want to meet Julia and-"

"You were an ass to me for no reason, Elliot Stabler. You were blaming me for our daughter being sick, when she was born healthy and weighing in at seven pounds. I get that everything happening since my fall was hard on you and everyone around us... but tonight was complete bullshit. But guess what? When you are an ass and causing me to just shove you away, Alex is always here for me. That's why she has been with me both times I had our daughters and you weren't." Olivia growled, without even lifting her eyes from Julia's face.

"Liv-"

"Leave, Elliot. And I don't want to see you until I come home. Until Julia and I are released in a few days."

"I don't even get to meet her?" Elliot sniffled as tears burned his eyes.

"You could have met her as soon as she was born, but you made your choices now leave me alone."

///

Elliot didn't want to go home to Amy and get pissed off at her, so he went to the bar near the precinct. The bar that he took Olivia home from the first night they started to sleep together. He hated himself for making Olivia go through the labor and delivery of their second child without him, and for hurting her once again. He didn't want to tell her the real reason why he was so upset and acting like more of an asshole than usual, but he knew that what happened tonight was unacceptable and Olivia probably would never completely forgive him for it.

"So why are you here and not with Olivia? Because we sent you to the hospital to be with Olivia, but instead you are getting drunk." Amanda frowned as she sat beside her partner. Elliot sighed softly before looking at the whiskey in front of him.

"I went to the hospital to see if I missed anything... like if Olivia was still in labor and if I could still catch Julia being born... but when I got there, Olivia was already holding our daughter and Alex was with her. This was the second time that I have missed one of my daughters being born because I pissed my wife off. Like the day she was shot, we got into a huge fight." Elliot frowned.

"Did you apologize?" Amanda questioned.

"Yeah, but the damage is done. I don't even know if I wanna go home because I feel like if I go home, I'll hurt Amy in some way. Like I'll yell at her and then not only will my wife hate me, but my kids will too." Elliot sniffled.

"I'm sorry, El. But I think that maybe if you told her why you were acting like this, then she might forgive you right away. You were just worried about your wife and daughter." Amanda spoke softly.

"I should have said it differently. I shouldn't have just kept yelling that our kid was going to be sick because she was born early, when I know for certain that being born at thirty-seven weeks wasn't going to hurt her. She was like seven pounds I guess." Elliot sighed.

"That's good, though! And I bet she's adorable!" Amanda smiled.

"Liv wouldn't let me meet her, so I don't even know how adorable my baby is. But I'm assuming she looks like Amy."

///

Elliot went to the precinct and slept in the cribs. Amanda asked him if he wanted to sleep on her couch, but Elliot didn't want Olivia to find out and think that he was cheating on her let alone being a jackass to her.

So two days after Julia was born, Olivia and Julia were released from the hospital. Elliot was waiting outside of the house when Olivia pulled into the driveway. He waited for her to get into her chair before going and helping her get Julia's carrier out of the car. 

"How are you feeling?" Elliot asked quietly, as Olivia wheeled into the garage while Elliot carried Julia in.

"I'm okay. Really tired." Olivia replied quietly.

"I can take care of the kids if you want to nap... I could use some time with my girls." Elliot breathed.

"I need to feed Julia and you need to be somewhere else." Olivia whispered.

"Huh? Babe, you told me to wait until you got released to meet our baby. I haven't even gotten to see her yet." Elliot whimpered as tears slipped down his cheeks.

"I need more space, Elliot. And you probably need a break from your family. And you can have one for now, but you need to come back in a few weeks so Julia and Amy have a parent while I'm at the hospital. Okay?" Olivia sighed.

"No." Elliot replied.

"Huh?"

"I don't need a break from our family, Olivia. I don't need to be away from you guys at all. I don't want to leave you and the girls. I know that I was an ass, and I apologized for being one. But I was scared and I didn't want you to think poorly of me because you saw that I was freaking out. I'm worried that something bad might happen with the trial and that giving birth to Julia could have messed up your body more. I was scared because you are the love of my life and I didn't want to risk losing you again or losing our children. So no, I won't be leaving. I will be here with you all and you can just fucking deal with it. Okay?"

Olivia stared at her husband for a moment with her mouth wide open. She didn't expect him to say what he said, so all she could do was nod.

"Good. Now, get inside and show me our daughter because I hate not knowing what her sweet face looks like."