TWO ALPHAS, ONE MATE

WHOLE| 27

Joshua has an unnerving look. It wasn't like the time at the Lunar party when he had me against the wall. His look is much more sinister. Even back then, I always knew that Joshua wouldn't hurt me.

Yet, at this very moment, I have an inkling that Joshua is not his true self. He likes for people to believe that he is this dangerous alpha, but I know the truth.

From the moment he radiated with pride in front of Ethan and all the packs at the Lunar party introducing me as his mate, despite being a human, I knew that truthfully Joshua cared for me and was going to protect her. I am not sure this still holds. All I see right now is red.

He has red all around him. His hands, arms, legs, torso, and everything that encompasses his being is surrounded by a red glow. He is being blinded by anger. Perhaps, it is my fault for being intimate with Ethan the first day I promised them to take things slow.

But this whole situation is not my fault. My downfall with him has nothing to do with my merge with Ethan. I am not going to let him turn things on me.

I will stand my ground. By the time I am done with him, he will acknowledge that it is his fault we are in this predicament. His betrayal allowed Ethan to shine. It showed me how a man truly acts. A man stands by their women. They trust her. Joshua was not acting like a man, at least not mine.

Whatever ideas are crossing his mind right now, I will quickly ruin them. Alpha or not, I will remind Joshua that I am not a mere human anymore.

Joshua has me cornered against the door. I was fearful, but that changes. He picks up on my attitude shift as my body loosens and my eyes knit together with determination.

I look at him dead in the eyes, responding, "like hell you will. You will never touch me again. As a matter of fact, why don't you go back to Ashely and leave me the hell alone."

He slams his fist against the door. I feel the impact inches from my face, but I do not flinch. I will not get intimated by him.

Joshua grits through his teeth, "you don't get to decide whether I touch what is mine or not."

He violently reals me closer to him. I gasp at the sudden movement, attempting to wrestle away from him. He growls at my defiance. It alarms him; the fact that I no longer want or am willing to play his little game.

My body wants him, truly. There is still an ache at my core to have him nearby. However, my heart's pain is greater than my body's will power. Joshua has done nothing but mistreat and man handle me, since the moment we first met. I have allowed lust to cloud my judgment.

Well....it's not lust. If it was lust, I would have quickly sent him packing a long time ago. I am conscious of the legend; I have two loves in this world.

Despite knowing this, not all love is good love. Love can be toxic. As much as it pains me, I must acknowledge that Joshua and I are unhealthy for each other. If he stays with me, his pack will never accept it. Also, Joshua sees me as a liar and a stupid human. Even if he tries to deny it, his actions last night screamed otherwise.

I keep telling myself not to use my powers against Joshua and Ethan. Getting rid of someone's self-control is wrong. I am very much aware of that. Yet, what am I to do next?

The way things are going, Joshua will do something that will make me hate him forever...

Hating Joshua will make things easier, but I do not want to hate him. Yes, my relationship with him is toxic, but I cannot get rid of him so easily. I hate myself for it. He makes me feel ashamed of myself for not being able to reject him.

His grip tightens. I know what I must do. I try my best to concentrate on his breathing. The past couple of times when I controlled him, it was in the heat of the moment. It was second nature.