Rockstar Love - Book I (Is It Love? Colin)

Chapter 28 (Caitlin's Point of View)

I sigh, it's been a long day. I reach to my apartment and flop down on the sofa. I grab my phone, turn it on to see that Matt and Rylee tried to reach me. First I call back Rylee, she might have something important to talk. As I call back, I get her voicemail. Oops... I forgot, she must be in a flight now. Good God, I am so happy for Bro and Rylee. My brother has been through a lot and even though I don't know what exactly happened to Rylee, I feel terrible for her. They say, it's good that I haven't seen her in her lowest, could it be that she gets violent? Could it be... that...bro has seen her in such state? But then again why would he, she should be to happy too go back to her lower forms. Have they talked about their past? Maybe Colin has also told her about me. I haven't forgotten it yet, I did forgive him, what's use of holding it. I understand how much it was needed for him to get away from that hell. I am proud of my brother, as soon as he got a job and became a little stable, he prepared everything for me. Colin doesn't know but I still have touch with our father and mother. That bastard called "father" never, I repeat never stopped blaming Colin for some shit, I don't know what. After mom left, I don't remember her much, but I do remember how Colin use to take care of me. It was them who contacted me first and from then I kept in touch with them. Mom is in Europe and Dad, still lives in Ohio. I sigh once more. I try to convince myself every day that he had to get away but my ego is so big that I still give him a cold shoulder sometimes.
"I miss my brother, I know what I am doing is wrong and he thinks what he did was wrong."
I am such a terrible sister making him feel guilty after everything he has done for me. I haven't been through what he has been through. The only thing our father didn't do was to kill him. If he could he could have done that, thank goodness Colin left the house. The house was already dead, him running away from it, made it even more soul-less. I left the house after he did. If I tell Matt that I still have some connections with our parents, he will tell Colin and Matt himself will not forgive me, and Baam... I will be screwed. Dad has nothing left, he has no money, I had to send him. Thank Goodness he is not greedy. If Colin gets to know this, it will be him not forgiving me ever. Should I tell Rylee, I am sure she can handle Colin. I am so sorry Colin.
Lost in thoughts I almost forgot to call Matt. I called him back, he picks up immediately,"Hey my love."
"Hi Matty. You called, sorry I just got back."
"It's OK baby. I am heading to Daryl's, he fucked up something so Harley called me. I called because I am very excited. Rylee and Colin is returning finally."
"Yes, I know, Rylee called Mr. Martinez to inform."
"I am worried about Doris, she already is pissed and God knows where had gone."
"Don't worry Matt, I trust Colin, he will most likely handle. Doris can't fuck up every time Colin live his life and most importantly now. He has got someone real. I didn't appreciate him going and fucking some whores but it's his life and his decision, his choice, Doris is a friend and a band mate. Rylee well, she will have Colin's heart conquered."
"True, well babe its already done because I haven't seen Colin care for someone so much apart from you. He worry for too much but you know him, he is not good at showing it." Matt telling me how much Colin worries about me makes me more guilty.
"Yeah babe, I know." I replied.
Matt and I talked a little bit more about everything and nothing. Then we hang up and I go to get freshen up. I made some food and ate it. It's almost 12, should I call dad and check on him. He is an night owl even at this age also. He should be awake.
I called but he didn't pick up, so I called mom, according to the time zone, it's afternoon their. She picks up after two ring, and I hear her soft gentle voice.
"Sweetie, I missed you, how are you?"
"I am fine, how are you?"
"Good, I am also fine."
"I just called to check up on you."
"Yes, I was about to call you."
"Oh..."
"I was thinking, if I could meet you. You know, coming to States."
What? Is she crazy?
"What? But why! We can talk over phone Mom."
"Oh baby... Don't be afraid. Your father and brother will not know. You don't stay with them."
"Yeah but... Okay I get it. I will send the tickets. When do you want to visit. I will send tickets for L. A. and please don't bring your stupid boyfriend." she never divorced dad and thankfully never got married with that failed musician.
"Oh my... No no.. Don't worry I won't bring him. You don't need to send me tickets baby."
"No it's okay. Once you arrive in the airport, I will send someone to pick you up. I will arrange for a hotel room in here."
"Why can't I live with you?"
"I need to make sure that no-one will be visiting L. A. mom."
"Oh.. I can't believe that I had to hide like this from my own people. It's all my fault." she says.
'Joke of the century.' Where was her "own people" philosophy when she was leaving with that guy. I sigh. Whatever...
"I just don't want brother to get to know that I have contacts with you and dad. You understand? After all what you both did to him isn't right, is it? You forget about me mom, I didn't face any problems but my heart breaks every time I remember that all Colin got was abandance. Do you even know how father use to torture him? As soon as you turned your back, he beat up his frustration to Colin. And knowing that I am keeping such important thing of having contacts with you both, from him, is as well breaking my heart because I feel like I am betraying him. I am abandoning important facts."
"I am so... So sorry baby... I am so sorry... How is Colin... It's been so long that I haven't seen him."
"He is good. He is returning from France, he was their for work with his girl... uh...um.. Colleague."
"Oh my... I was in France only..." thank God they didn't meet.
"My God... "
"Sweetie do you think he would have recognized me?"
"I don't know but I think yes. How could he forget!"
"I wish I could meet him and ask for forgiveness."
"I can try but I am not really sure he would want to talk to you."
"Okay. Umm... Baby I need to go, my boyfriend is asking for me. He going to India for 3 months for work. I call you back later." it sounds weird that at this age she has 'boyfriend'.
"Okay Mom take care." we hung and once again I sigh. Am I doing right? I am so sorry Colin, I know I am doing wrong with you, I just hope you don't get to know about this ever. I will never forgive myself for this. That brother who has so much for me, to whom I am holding up poor fucking stupid grudge for nothing and here I am committing betrayal. I am more than stupid. I shouldn't have kept contact after the first time they tried to reach me. I love my bro more than them, I know they are our parents but they did nothing. They aren't ideal parents but I couldn't hold back myself from keeping contacts. What should I do now. Not only from Colin but also from Matt I am keeping an important thing. Colin someday will tell Rylee about his childhood, if not already, and I know Rylee will despise them as well but when will learn this she will turn her face from me too.
God show me the right way. I hope I am not doing something very wrong. The reason all the more I avoid Colin so as to not blurt it out all this.

I should tell Colin everything.