Rockstar Love - Book I (Is It Love? Colin)

Chapter 16 (Rylee's Point of View)

It's been 2 month now, Colin is avoiding me and I don't understand why. I know I left that day pretty badly and I do know that I deserve rude behavior but not avoiding. He don't talk to me about anything other than work and I am not sure about starting an conversation because knowing Colin he will barely answer. I had stopped going out for lunch with them, I feel like I am causing Colin discomfort, he don't look at me like he did before, he avoid my eyes. Matt didn't said anything even if he noticed everything.
In this 2 months, Colin didn't asked me to go to his concerts, Matt did but I turned him down telling that I would like to be alone. Colin didn't asked me for once to come to concerts so why would I go. I am not sure I would have gone but I think I would have given it a thought and a chance. I am such a disgusting women. I feel like crying but I can't cry my heart out. I don't like to be weak, I don't want anyone to see me miserable.
In this past few weeks, I come to office like a zombie, have meetings with Carter or Colin, do my work and go home silently. I don't want to see anyone. I feel so empty inside, it's not the same emptiness I felt all these years but something very deep as if I had lost everything. I have been a mess past few weeks.
I locked myself in my room playing and crying avoiding everyone's eyes and questions. Every Friday evening I go to barn and on Monday I directly come to office from the barn. What is wrong with me, I wasn't like this. So what if Colin is avoiding me? Who is he to me? Why am I this restless?
I didn't noticed that tears are flowing from my eyes. I didn't noticed Colin coming to my office either until he wipe that tears from my cheeks. I was staring into spaces. I jump at the contact our skin, I frown and look up and my eyes met with two pale blue eyes. I instantly calm down but my heart breaks all the more when I see pain and sadness in those beautiful eyes. My heart is already broken, I am nothing but a hollow soul, never thought it would break even more but guess what, I was wrong. I stood up immediately and wipe my tears with the back of my hand.
"C.. Co..Colin... I am sorry, I... I was lost in thoughts... You..." I stammered and Colin cuts me off.
"Why are you crying Rylee?" Colin asks in a dry but calm voice.
Shit... "I wasn't crying... I... It was just something got into my eyes." I turn my back to him. "It's good that you came Colin, I need to talk to you and show you something I found." I turn around to face him after wiping my tears completely.
He is staring at me intensely as if reading me like an open book. I don't like it when people can read me. Then he moves towards me biting his lower lip. Oh he is so sexy. I catch my breath when he is just few inches away from me. I so want to kiss him. Oh my, I want him so fucking much, he is looking at me with so much intensity. He is so close that I have to look up to meet his eyes. I feel so hot. He moves towards me and I step back until I hit the wall of computer behind.
"Why were you crying Rylee?" he ask in low yet firm voice.
"It's nothing" I just able to whisper those words shaking my head sideways. He grab me by my waist and pull me even closer, "What's wrong Rylee?"
"Nothing Col..." I was cut off by his lips on me. Oh My God. He possess my lips brutally then slow down but the Intensity remains enough to take my breathe away. I freeze at first then give in and kiss him back hard. Our tongues dances rhythmically meeting each other. We are as if one. I was longing for this for so long. I wanted to kiss him, I wanted him to possess me and I don't know why. My one hand rests on his firm, tight and tense torso while the other is on his back around waist. He move his hand up and down on my back. I thought I would be betraying Evan but is that the case? Colin has a power of bringing contradictory emotions and feelings in me. I never felt this vulnerable, not even with Evan. From the first day I laid my eyes on Colin, I feel something deep inside me has woken up. What is this feeling?
I never knew I was capable of feeling this, well, not after losing Evan. Will Evan forgive me, or he wanted this that I feel complete.

We both pull away from each other to catch our breath but I kept my eyes close. I realized I am crying when Colin wipe them.
"Look at me kitten. Open you eyes." Colin demands.
I open my eyes, meeting his eyes which has darkened with desires.
I just whispered "Colin... " and then I pull him towards me and I kiss him harder than before. He moans in my mouth, our tongues dances in the rhythm of each other. His moans sent vibration to my whole being. I am craving for his lips. His hands wandered is my back and rest below my buttocks. We pull away looking into each other's eyes. We remained like that holding and looking at each other, his eyes trying to read my eyes, probably wondering what's going on my head or how am I feeling.
He kiss me again and his lips trailed to my neck, sucking the skin sending shivers down my body. I sigh with pleasure.
Suddenly I came out of my Euphoria, what the hell am I doing.
I tried to pull away from him suddenly ashamed, "I... I am sorry... I shouldn't have.. I am sorry." but he stopped me from pulling away, instead he pulls me to him more.
"Don't..." Colin whispers. I look up at him, confused. "Don't push me away... Don't resist me. I don't like when you do that!"
"It's not right Colin... It's not a good idea." I say.
"What is not right Rylee?" Colin asks in a hoarse voice. Oh his voice.
"Colin, it's not possible, you... I... We can't do this... It's not a good idea." I say. He tightened his embrace even more.
"Why Rylee? You don't want me because I am not a clean guy in matter of girls. Do you think I take you as a groupie? Or because I am not as rich as you." he asks frowning.
"Shut it Colin. You know I give a damn about money. It's nothing to with any money or any girls. I am not right for you." I can't put my thoughts in word. He is the rockstar, lead singer of New York's famous band. I can't see myself repeating history, it will be too much for me. One day he will leave me, he has a great career ahead. I was snapped from my thoughts when Colin thumb gazes my lips.
"Rylee, what's wrong?"
"Nothing..." with that I hugged him and rest my head on his broad chest. He hold me tight in a full embrace. He caresses my hair. His smell envelopes my nostrils, he smells so good. I move my face in the crook of his neck while he buries his face in my hair, smelling them.
"I will pull it out of you Rylee. You have to tell me what's bothering you. You have stopped talking, you don't meet anyone. You have stopped coming with us to lunch even." I looked up at him annoyed and pulling myself away sharply from him which surprises him.
"You don't talk to me other than work and I wasn't sure you will answer if I had started an conversation. You were avoiding me Colin. I thought I was causing you discomfort and I also needed to be alone. I am not good at communicating or interacting." I say. Colin sighed.
"I was dissapointed that you left." is all he say.
"I had to. I had to be alone. I had to move out, I could have ruined your concert. I know what it takes to get noticed by a producer. And didn't needed any distractions. I... I didn't wanted to... " I was cut off again by Colin's lips rested on mine. He kiss me slowly but intense. I was loving passionate kiss which can make any girl melt on spot.
"I like this distraction. Rylee, believe me even if you think you would have been distracting me then know that I would have liked it. You have to stop over thinking" Colin says. I look into his eyes. This guy drives me crazy.
"Why do you want me so much? You have so many girls surrounding you. I will never be yours. I mean we can't." I say looking down blushing.
He whispers in my ears, "Kitten...they are not you." kissed my ear, "I will make you mine. I have my eyes, just on you.". He gives pressure to 'just on you' which send thousands of shivers down my spine. I am feeling hot, and have goosebumps. His voice portrays the underlying threat of desires, shows that I am his, or I will be his. He will make me his, but is it a good idea? He moves away, and looked at me. His eyes goes back and forth from my eyes to lips. He moves closer to kiss again me when my phone rings making us jump and breaking our magical bubble. I frowned, looking at the mobile. What asshole is calling me at this moment?
"What a timing!" Colin murmurs. He let me go so that I can receive the call. It's Ryan. I looked at Colin, "Ryan." I say. He raised an eyebrow.
"Maybe he couldn't get a hold of me. My phone is in my office." he says, I nod picking up the phone.
"Yes, Ryan."
"Rylee, I am trying to reach Colin, he is not picking up."
"Oh, he is with me. You want to speak to him."
Colin is checking my computers connected to Carter corps service to see my progress. Of course he can see and he will check since he is the Senior Executive of IT Department in the headquarter.
"No, listen, both of you come to my office. I need to talk to you both."
"Okay, Mr. Carter. We are on our way." we hung up.
"What does he want?" Colin asks.
"You sure this office doesn't have a CCTV cameras installed and is not connected to Carter's computer." I say smirking looking at every direction.
Colin laughs, "Why? You are worried about Ryan Carter getting turned on by our intense kiss."
I hit Colin's shoulder playfully, "Shut it. We gotta go. Carter want us in his office."
"This guy never just stops. Let's go."
"Yeah you go, let me lock the system." I say.
"BTW, you really have some surprisingly unexpected progress. That's cool." Colin says with a little smile.
"Thank You." I say blushing.
He laughs and, kiss me on the cheeks then go out of the office. Getting compliments from Colin Spencer who is an computer ace is no small thing. I lock the PC and go out.