SCARS | 𝖠𝖿𝗍𝖾𝗋 𝖲𝖾𝖺𝗌𝗈𝗇 1 𝖮𝖻𝗑

18 - Depression?

{ Pope POV }

"What do you mean?" I asked
"You know what I mean" JJ said with a grin.

"You can't possibly do more drugs than you're already doing now!"
"Oh yes I can" JJ said defiantly.

"Your literally poisoning yourself JJ! Do you know how bad those are for you?" I lectured
"Yes Pope I am aware" he said frustratedly.
"You gotta stop, man"
"You did it too" he objected
"I know but it wasn't much"

JJ huffed.

"I wanna do more"
"No, I won't let you -"
"-YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND POPE! What else do I have? Come on be honest. Do I actually have any reason for being here!?" He snapped

My heart dropped.
"JJ..."
"It's fine okay, all I'm saying is this shit - right here" he held up his lighter "i-it helps me"

I felt a lump form in my throat.
I know that JJ's in a bad situation right now and I want to help him before it gets worse. And for him drugs are a temporary pain reliever.

"I know that it's not easy for you, I know, okay. We-we just lost our best friend, and we possibly just lost Kie, your an addict and your dad fucking abuses you -"

"Stop. I don't need a list of everything that's wrong with our lives" JJ said.
"I'm not even halfway through the list yet" I complained.

"Listen, JJ. In the long run, drugs are not going to help you. It may feel nice now but trust me, you keep doing this your gonna end up in a really bad place" I lectured

"Can't get any worse than it is now" he muttered under his breath, but I heard him.

JJ was silent for the rest of the walk back. He hasn't been himself lately, I really don't want to admit it but I think he might be getting depression.

It worries me the fact that JJ has a gun and if this depression gets worse I dread to think that he might attempt to take his life. And knowing him he probably won't even realise that he's made a mistake until it's too late.

{ JJ POV }

I hate how I've changed the past week, I want to go back to my normal self. I've acted really toxic to my best friends and I feel terrible, but I just need something to cover the fact that I'll never see John B again.

I heard my name being called and I snapped out of my thoughts.
"You know I have to go back home, right? We literally just bailed on my dad" Pope mentioned.

"Yeah that's fine" I said
"Ok I'll just tell him that you wanted to go back or something, if he asks"
"Thanks man" I said fist bumping him.

"I'll be here tomorrow afternoon, alright"
I nodded
"Don't go anywhere" he warned
"I won't" I reassured

"Aight bye than"
"Yeah bye popieee" I mocked, longing out the 'e'.

He playfully put up his middle finger then got into the van and drove off.

___________________________________

I lay back on the sofa and my stomach was rumbling but I just ignored it. I have other stuff to think about right now other than food.

Im gonna go back to my house tomorrow morning and pack a bag or 2. It's been a week since my dad knocked me unconscious so hopefully he won't be there today.

I have to be back before Pope gets here, so i set my alarm for 7am and I should be back way before the afternoon, just as long as there's no distractions.

I felt my eyelids getting heavier and heavier and I let myself fall asleep.

_____________________________________

I woke up to the sound of my alarm screaming at me to get up. Yes it is literally screaming.

I quickly got up and put on some some dark clothes, just incase. It's a good thing John B has a big selection of clothes, they're a little big but it doesn't really matter. Clothes are clothes.

I didn't bother doing my hair so I just quickly brushed my hand through it and put a red cap ontop.

I grabbed my phone and rushed out the house. Pope took the van so I have to walk but I'm planning on bringing my motorbike back.

I shut the door and looked at the chatue, my home. I really hope I make it back...