SCARS | 𝖠𝖿𝗍𝖾𝗋 𝖲𝖾𝖺𝗌𝗈𝗇 1 𝖮𝖻𝗑

27 - Cover Up

{ Kiara POV }

I woke up to the suprise of feeling warm bed covers on me. The last thing I remember was hitting my head on the hard ass seat in the van. My head was pounding but I ignored the aching and I slightly lifted it up to look around, and I saw that I was in 'my room' at the chatue. I sighed and allowed my head to fall back onto the soft pillow.

It looked to be around midday because the sun was beating down onto my window practically blinding me, but I couldn't be assed to get up and close the curtains. Even if I tried to I would probably collapse due to how dizzy and nauseous I was feeling.

So this is what a hangover feels like, heh JJ was right, it's fucking horrible.

Seeing as I was left here with nothing but my own thoughts, I started to think about everything that happened the past week. It's been the most devastating week of my life even though I tried not to act like it.

I just wanted to try and forget about it, no matter how much it hurt me. I didn't want to think about John B, I didn't want to think about Sarah... Everyday since they disappeared I just felt like falling to the floor and crying my eyes out but I didn't, at least not infront of the guys. Pope and I made an agreement to do this, try and forget, because we knew if we let it get to us it would destroy us.

I felt somehow guilty for doing this but Pope doesn't want me to go down hill into a depression, even though we have every reason to go into one. But JJ (as much as he won't admit and as much as we don't want it to be true) was already there.

JJ wasn't in on the agreement like Pope and I, but I could tell he was deeply upset by the death of his best friend. He was just putting on his tough boy act for us.

He downplayed the massive beating he got from his sick dad, and he barely even let us help him. We haven't said a word about it since the day we found him unconscious on the floor. JJ didn't want to talk about it. I actually wanted to take him to the hospital that day, but I knew JJ would probably hate me for the rest of his life if I did that.

{ JJ POV }

I woke up sprawled across the sofa. I don't even know why I was here, I could've gone to the bed because Pope wasn't here. He went home after making sure Kie was safely tucked in bed after she passed out in the van after hitting her head on the seat. In her defence she was high as fuck and drunk too.

My mind averted to a different subject, a much worse subject. One with the very capability to fully destroy me, and incase you didn't know it takes A LOT to break me.

I thought about how our lives have been since John B and Sarah... vanished, its been just over a week. I can't believe it, all I wanted to do since that day was just stay in bed all day and cry, but of course my stupid ass dad wouldn't let me. Instead he had to beat the shit out of me and that caused Pope and Kie to get involved, which was the very last thing I ever wanted. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if either one of them got hurt by my dad.

Every time they look at me and see the bruises and scars their eyes go wide and glassy, remembering the day that they had to save me. And I hated it. It's like my bruises are a reminder to them of my awful life. But they know that I don't want to talk about it. They say that I should get some help and report my dad but I just can't bring myself to do it. I still feel like he has some love for me, even if it's just the slightest bit. Having that thought and convincing myself that it's true just helps me to keep on going.

All I want is to be loved by own father, is that really so much to ask?

I sighed. Why do I have to be so complicated. I know that covering up my feelings is 'bad for my mental health' as Kie says. But I genuinely don't give two flying fucks about myself anymore.

I wanted to try and keep up this act, but I just don't think reality has hit for any of us yet. We keep on thinking that John B is just gonna come walking through the front door as if nothing had ever happened. We can't accept the fact that he is never going to come back.

But when the dreaded reality does hit, it will be like a fucking bulldozer. It will destroy us all and only the strongest will make it out the other end.

"Fuck, goddamn it! Why!?" I let out a muffled scream into the sofa cushion while attacking it with my fists at the same time.

Sorry, I know that this is a short chapter but it contains some deep thoughts and heavy subjects. Like they had literally just lost their best friends, and they have been putting aside their true feelings in order to stay strong for eachother. But soon enough the reality will hit them hard...

I hope your all prepared because from now on shit is going to get crazy, and brutally sad. But don't worry there will also be a lot of action, I have it all planned out. Its gonna be fucking crazy y'all so just be prepared.

~Lexi xx