SCARS | 𝖠𝖿𝗍𝖾𝗋 𝖲𝖾𝖺𝗌𝗈𝗇 1 𝖮𝖻𝗑

45 - The End of the Pogues

Your gonna get a little sneak peek to JJ's real name in this chapter. 😉

TW: mentions of self harm

{ JJ POV }

Flashback:
I covered my ears as I heard mum and dad screaming and shouting and thrashing things about.

This wasn't uncommon but this was noticeably much worse than the others.

I was up till midnight listening to their endless argument when finally my mum patted into my room.

Her beautiful blonde hair bounced against her back and her pastely blue eyes which were filled with tears and pain.

"Jaxon, honey are you awake?" Whispered her soft voice
I sniffled and that's when she realised I was awake.

"Oh JJ baby it's okay" she turned on the lamp and sat on the edge of my bed.

Tears started streaming down my face
"Shhh it's okay mommy's here, I love you" she laid down next to me and cuddled me like a baby.

She smelt like sweet perfume and she was dressed up as if she was going somewhere.
"Mom... Are you going somewhere?" I asked through my sobs.

"N- no honey"

I nodded, drifting off to sleep and in the corner of my eye I saw a black bag right outside the doorway but I ignored it and went to sleep. She assured me that she was staying and that was enough for me to believe it.

When I woke up I felt cold and she was gone...

End of flashback:

"Fuck" I gasped, suddenly sitting upright clutching my chest.

"What the hell..." I breathed heavily.

How I wished I wasn't so oblivious to the situation, I should've turned around and said "take me with you" I could of begged her. I was only 7.

I can't believe I was so stupid and didn't understand what was going on when it was so fucking obvious. I hate every ounce of myself for that, I could've been living a better life right now if I went with her.

Maybe I wouldn't of been so fucked up with anger issues and a shit load of other problems.

I could've been in some nice house with her and be living a normal life.
But no she just frikin left without a single trace and I have no idea where she is. She left me, she fucking left me with this monster!

The anger was pumping through my veins but I felt too weak and tired to act on it. My whole body was in agony after last night, I spiralled out of control and basically destroyed myself.

I looked down at my arms and grimaced, they were covered with fresh cuts and some were still bleeding.

My knuckles were cracked and the blood had all dried up, and I could still smell and feel those goddamn drugs up my nose.

My knees buckled and I fell to the floor, my head was pounding and my body was shaking. I could feel my heart rate increasing rapidly and I was having trouble breathing.

Am I dying? Just make it quicker, please?

{ Pope POV }

I haven't seen JJ at all since I got shot, Kie is obviously mad at him and doesn't even want to go and find him.

She told me about the big argument that went down 3 days ago and knowing her she was probably pretty harsh on him.

I did try looking for him at the chatue but there wasn't much point because it was all destroyed anyways, he wouldn't stay in there. I've also looked through the windows at his house but he wasn't there either.