CURSES AND CANDIES - REMUS LUPIN

𝑜𝑛𝑒 ℎ𝑢𝑛𝑑𝑟𝑒𝑑 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑡𝑒𝑛 𝑝𝑎𝑟𝑡 𝑜𝑛𝑒.

see you again - wiz khalifa (slowed and reverb)

August 3rd, 1978
7:48 am
Potter Manor

Remus's heart began to pound in his ears as he reread the letter over and over again as if that would change its message. All of the blood in his body seemed to rush up towards his head as his legs moved on autopilot down the stairs of Potter Manor, not giving a second glance behind him.

There was the undeniable, quiet voice in the back of his head that told him Hollis wasn't coming back this time, yet his body was telling him to go figure it out for himself.

By the time he got down to the living room, it was already empty with four letters just like his set down on the furniture in a rush to leave the room and go out into the gardens. Remus began to feel even more of that unexplainable dread, and nothing could prepare him for what he saw on the fountain.

At least she looked as though she simply could be asleep, Remus thought in denial. At least...

He fell to his knees on the gravel, the small stones digging into his knees through his sweatpants, not that he even noticed. His grief was drowning out all other senses he knew that he should be feeling. Because this time, it wasn't a nightmare. She wasn't missing.

She was right in front of him, and she was dead.

No matter how hard he tried, Remus couldn't stop the nevers from flowing in and out of his head, each one a stab to the heart.

They were never going to get married, never going to have children together and then teach them together at Hogwarts. Remus was never going to hear another witty comment come from her mouth, nor a beautiful laugh and smile that lit up her face. There was never going to be another exchange of breaths and hands and sheets again, he was never going to be able to see her happy again besides in his memories.

The grief made Remus wonder how Hollis had ever been able to live with the same feelings about how Regulus had died, and he was about to ask her for help before he realized that she wouldn't answer.

She couldn't answer.

It was crippling.

May 30, 1979
3:09 pm
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

It seemed cruel for the sun to be shining so brightly on her birthday over the Hogwarts ground by the Black Lake, but the weather couldn't always reflect Remus's mood no matter how sour he was inside.

Nine months had passed since Hollis had died.

None of the Marauders, McGonagall, not Lily had any recollection whatsoever of the funeral. As far as they were concerned, a bunch of empty words and empty speeches could never fill the gap inside of them that only she could fill.

Just as Hollis's letter had asked him to, Sirius had been trying to pull him and his friends out of the deep water they had submerged themselves in. They all had, but every time they were about to reach the surface, something else pushed them down.

Looking down at the lush green grass below him, Remus plucked up a singular, light pink flower and held it between pale, slightly trembling fingers. The sun's rays pierced through the thin green stem with ease, casting a light shadow that ran along with the scars on his face.

Many of the slightly risen lines were very new, the result of the full moons without his fox to help him during or heal him afterwards. It didn't really seem to matter if he was hurting on the outside anymore when his mind hurt so badly.