Royal Duchess | BRF Story

Worth it all

TW: Body image issues, anxiety attack, "baby blues". (If you think this will in any way be offensive or harm you or your mental health please don't read it. Thank you)

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They had plans, plans that were drafted by the Queen's government even before Amelia found out she was pregnant with the twins. Plans that she really couldn't miss, not because they desperately needed her there, but because it meant that the future King and Queen would be seen as confident, dutiful working royals, something the Monarchy desperately needed at that moment. 

Amelia looked at herself in her dressing room mirror, one that stretched from the hardwood floor of her bedroom to the white of her ceiling, reflecting the sparkle the chandelier made this time of day, when the sun was coming up and everything was still quiet. 

The twins were only barely a month old, and Amelia technically was still supposed to be in her maternity leave, however, this was something she needed to do, although those words were never uttered by anyone in the Royal Household or by the Family. 

She had gone with George to the Pakistan Tour last October, and she was five months pregnant with the twins and sometimes still felt a sharp pain in her leg. But from what the tabloids reported she looked radiant and every bit what was expected of a royal duchess. Those few months after the attack and the last months of the year had been nothing of what Amelia wanted for her 'nesting period', but she put on a smile, and united forces with her husband, brother-in-law and sister-in-law, while her other other brother and sister-in-law seemed too focus on their own lives to care about others at that moment. 

"You did perfect, Bee." 

That was what George kept telling Amelia for the last three months of her pregnancy, a period that truly tested her in every way possible. But again, nothing ever prepared her for her postpartum experience, not even the last three. 

"It is normal." 

"It will pass. Give it a few weeks." 

But things didn't get better, and Amelia was worried they were only getting worse. So she asked for help, from one of the only people she knew she could trust: her cousin. 

Annabel had given birth to her first baby, Vincent, in early June, and she had suffered from what was commonly known as "baby blues", and she decided it was best to find a professional to help her deal with both being a new mother and that diagnosis that until then were unheard off to Bel. So Amelia was sure that, even if her feelings turned out to be nothing serious at least she would get a professional's opinion on them. 

Ms Sharma was an amazing therapist, and one that from the moment she walked into the room of Kensington Palace, Amelia was sure she would be someone she could trust. They had only had four sessions until then, but the Duchess already felt a small wave of relief knowing that what she was feeling was nothing to do with her doing something wrong or even the babies. 

And throughout this period, and until now, the Clarence's support system (as they were affectionately called sometimes) turned out to be everything Amelia needed to get through each day and situation. Nanny Harriet was the first of the family's staff to support the idea of the Duchess talking to Ms Sharma, as did their house staff and POs. 

"Bee?"

George was well aware of his wife's struggles and he was there with her every step of the way, from the moment they woke up to the moment they laid in bed and the Duchess cried herself to sleep in her husband's arms. But he was also aware that she would once again put duty before herself, and that was one of the only things that really pissed him off. 

"I need a few more minutes. You can go and shower, I just need to see if the dress will fit."

"Bee, you tried the dress twice only last night. You need to shower just as much as I do, after all we leave in just a few hours, together." 

Ireland wasn't that far away, and their tour wasn't even that long, but George was sure he counted five suitcases in the entrance hall last night, and he was sure they weren't all just accessories, hats and shoes like his wife had told him the night before. But he went along with it, if this was something they needed to get through they would get through it together, as husband and wife. 

Amelia looked at her husband. She was exhausted, her body telling her she needed to slow down. She had barely slept since the birth of the twins, not because they were fussy or anything like that, on the contrary they were very calm and really only cried when they needed something. But every time Amelia got under her duvet it seemed like suddenly all the sleep and rest her body needed disappeared, and it didn't matter how tired or how much work she had done that day. 

She smiled at her husband, taking his hand as he led them out of the dressing room they both shared and into their bathroom, where George helped his wife out of her pajamas and into the shower, like he had done many times before. After cleaning themselves and relaxing under the hot water on that cold March morning, the couple spent half an hour intertwined, feeling their bodies close together, sitting in front of the window overlooking their back garden; the love they shared, a deep, caring love, one that lasts through the ages, almost palpable in the air of their room. 

The Duchess always knew the love she and the Duke shared was one rarely found by many people, and she couldn't put in words how grateful she was that she had had the chance to find it, and keep it close to her heart. But right then and there Amelia was sure, the love George and Amelia shared wasn't just any type of love, it was the most deepest form of true love, and she was sure that George was her soulmate. And that knowledge was something that made everything that they had gone through, and still would be going through, worth it. Because for her, Georgie, their family, that seemed to be getting bigger by the year, and the life they had built together was worth it all.