The Suicide Club

✖️Famous Last Words✖️

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a/n: if you want to understand this chapter at all please go listen to famous last words by my chemical romance okay go

and if you already know it

congratulations, we are friends now

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Chapter 22: Famous Last Words

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The Girl With the Weird Paintings

I couldn't take it anymore.

That house was suffocating me.

I appreciated Sydney looking after me and everything, but I had to go for a walk or something before I went insane.

I left early in the morning, before Sydney was awake and when my parents were out of town. I dressed in plain clothes and didn't bother with make up. I left a note on the kitchen table for Sydney, knowing she'd probably go there first thing in the morning.

Dear Sydney,

I've gone out for a couple of hours, I just had to get out of the house. I'll be back in a little.

~Julia

I walked from my house and about a half of a mile into the city. I walked past the flower store and heard someone call my name. I turned around to see Jake running towards me with a bouquet of roses, probably for Zach.

"Hey," he said, pulling me into a hug. "I haven't seen you around in forever."

"Mourning, I guess," I shrugged.

"Are you okay?" He asked me, his voice full of concern.

"I don't know," I answered honestly. "I don't think you can be okay if you don't feel anything any more."

My voice cracked, and I felt tears threatening to fall. Jake pulled me back into his tight embrace, his comforting scent filling my nostrils as I cried into his jacket.

"Jake, I'm scared, I don't feel anything," I told him. "I want to feel something. I want someone to make me feel something."

He held me tighter as people passed us on the sidewalk. Some stared and some averted their stares. I shook from sobs, I couldn't stop crying.

"Hey," he said comfortingly, tilting my chin up gently to look at him. "Zach opened his eyes, do you wanna go see him? Maybe seeing you will help him wake up."

"He has such beautiful eyes," I replied, wiping my own. "I'm glad the world can see them again."

"Don't I know it," Jake sighed dreamily. "Now, c'mon, let's go."

I smiled as I walked to Jake's car. I really did miss him. He was always so sweet, and I was overjoyed that him and Zach hit it off. Jake needed someone to help him with his homosexuality, and I was glad that he had Zach to help him.

Jake put on Famous Last Words by My Chemical Romance, and it felt good to just scream the song. I took all the bent up energy and sadness I had inside of me and just screamed the lyrics.

"I AM NOT AFRAID TO KEEP ON LIVING!" I screamed.

I wasn't afraid to keep living. I had too. I had to keep living for the suicide club. They were all I had. And I felt like they needed me. For the first time in my life, I had felt needed.

"I AM NOT AFRAID TO WALK THIS WORLD ALONE," I screamed.

That was a lie. I was terrified of being alone. But I was afraid of being with the wrong people. I guess I preferred to be alone than to be with assholes. But I found the most unassholy group of people ever, and I was happy.

"HONEY IF YOU STAY I'LL BE FORGIVEN!"

I guess that if I stayed with them, then I could be forgiven. I could be forgiven for all the shit I had done. I hated myself for so long, and I was so done with it. They could help me forgive myself for doing that.

"NOTHING YOU CAN SAY CAN STOP ME GOING HOME!"

Nothing anyone ever said could keep me from my home. My home with the fellow members of the suicide club.

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a/n: this chapter would've been longer, but I'll try to update again today bc I felt like this moment deserved its on chapter.

i cried my hardest ever while writing while writing this chapter

mcr just means so much to me and famous last words is my favorite song

and yes I'm still crying bc they broke up

and I love writing this story okay

and I love you guys so much

and I love wattpad

and I love writing

and oh god I'm crying again I'm an emotional ball of emotions

thanks for reading

xxx