The Suicide Club

✖️The Members✖️

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Chapter 1: The Members

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The Silent Girl

I was always quiet. I never really liked to talk to the idiots I was forced to call my colleagues. I was always at the back of the class, ignoring the taunts and reading my book silently. I never did anything to any of them, so I never could wrap my head around why they hated me so much.

I usually hung around the 'emo' crowd. We were considered emo because we had dyed hair, dark clothes, and we listened to punk rock music. I didn't look like most of them, though. I had dirty blonde hair and brown eyes that lost their brightness a while ago.

The brightness faded away the day the abuse started. My dad had been hitting my mom for a while, but she assured me that it was alright. He came home one night, and my mom was on a girl's night out. She left me alone with the devil. He slapped me instead of her. He then decided that he liked me as a punching bag more than my mom.

And that was the day the brightness faded away.

I didn't have friends, the closest thing I had to one was my pet rock, Gilbert. I took him from a creek when I was seven. Gilbert was a pretty cool guy.

It's too bad he couldn't save me from the evil thoughts inside my head.

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The Guy That Hears Things That Aren't There

Okay, I'm not as weird as you think I am, judging by my title. I was diagnosed with schizophrenia last year. I don't get visual hallucinations, I get audio hallucinations. It'll be the middle of some English lecture about some piece of shit book, and suddenly I'll hear mumbles telling me to do things that I don't want to do to the blonde girl that never talks that sits next to me.

Truth be told, I have a little crush on the blonde emo. She's the only person that doesn't look at my funny. There's a sort of kindness in her brown eyes that you can't replace. I want to protect her from any harm. She's beautiful, both inside and out. I see the way guys look at her. And it make me want to beat them up. They don't deserve her, the angel that she is.

Another secret, she's the closest thing I have to a friend. We've partnered up together a few times because no one else will partner up with either of us. She's actually pretty funny once you coax a few words out of her.

I just wanted to tell her everything about me, but I was scared that she'd judge me.

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The Girl With the Weird Drawings

If you couldn't already tell, I'm an artist. I draw what I can't speak. My words fail me more than not, so I've learned to use graphite instead of my tongue.

As time went on, my drawings got more and more violent. I remember I made this one painting where I literally splattered red paint all over the canvas. There was no structure, shape, or reason, but it explained my feelings perfectly. I entitled it 'Rage'.

These feelings usually came from my body. I hated it. My thighs were disproportional to my waist, my breasts were too small, my butt was too fat, my thighs were too big, and I had love handles to spare. I ended up starving myself. I just wanted to be skinny. I was in no way pretty, so I had to be skinny.

Most people don't quite understand me. They try, but I guess I'm like an ogre, based on how Shrek described them. I have layers, like an onion. Honestly, my emotions and my habits are way to weird for anyone to understand. I thought I had no hope of finding 'my people'.

The little blonde emo girl always intrigued me. She was beautiful, but she kept hidden. I noticed the boy with schizophrenia following her around a lot, so I assumed they were friends. I always wanted to talk to them, but truth be told, they scared me. Blondie kinda looked like she would beat you to death with a watermelon if you talked to her, and I constantly heard the boy talking to himself.

I told myself 'don't judge a book by its cover', but it's hard to do that with a cover with knives falling out of it.

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The Last Person You'd Expect

I was diagnosed with depression my sophomore year.

I knew I was different from my friends. They would always talk about how hot a girl was, and I wouldn't see it. My friend, Bradley, though, he was hot. I could see that.

It took weeks of thought, but I finally accepted that I was gay. I remember making fun of the gay kids with my friends. They would never accept me. And my parents were full blown Catholics and a little homophobic. I couldn't have imagined how they'd reply to their only son being gay. I was scared to tell anyone, if I'm going to be honest. I was scared of all the judgement.

Some idiots say that your sexuality is a choice, and you know what I say to that? Horse shit. Why would I have chosen to be something that causes so much bullying and judgement? And why did it cause so much bullying and judgement? It was just someone's sexuality. It's like their height. I don't choose to be 5'11, and it's just a small fact about me.

The blonde emo, well, my friends said she was hot, but of course, I didn't think so. She was very pretty, though, and if I was straight, I think I would ask her out. She was friends with a boy we tripped in the lunchroom constantly. He was always talking to himself, telling himself to 'shut up' and 'no, I don't want to do that, she's too nice.' I always felt bad for picking on him, I had a feeling he was just a nice kid with a few mental problems.

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A/N: hi!

so this chapter is to introduce you to the characters

the plot will start developing next chapter

and yah

okay byeeee

thanks for reading

xxx