Feelings

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OCTOBER 2023

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OCTOBER 2023

SEOUL


Having spent the last nine months completing his military service, being free to walk through the city felt sadly nostalgic for Namjoon. A familiar face caught his eye through the display window glass. Her hair was different and her style had been adapted but it was definitely Hana. An unconscious smile grew across Namjoon's face- he hadn't realised how long it had been since they'd last spoken. Although it made sense, Hana was always more of a friend to Mimie than himself. Still, he couldn't deny that her impulsive comments and fan-girl behaviour had been his only source of confidence at times.


He hesitated to greet her. She was dressed differently. The style he remembered her wearing was always more eccentric than Mimie, but it had worked for her. Now, however, she looked like a conventional career woman. The only colour he recognised on her was on her nails, everything else was bland and neutral and her skirt still had its label on it, which stuck out from behind. A common enough mistake for most, but Hana had always been so well put together in his memory.


Without even having a conversation he could sense the dramatic change in her and it caught him off guard. It was more than that, though. There was an undercurrent of nervous energy like when he took the stage at any event being streamed live, or at a concert. The drive of having something to prove. What exactly it was that he felt the need to prove to Hana of all people, he wasn't sure.


Hana had been relentlessly supportive of him since the day they met, uncomfortably so at times. She'd been his very own personal fangirl, always within reach, always excited to see him, always mournful to leave. He'd lost her when he'd lost Mimie. She'd all but fallen off the map in the last few years and to see her before him, just a glass window away was oddly uplifting.


Despite his reservations, Joon found himself stood before her, beaming. Anyone would have thought she was the idol and he was the fan.

"Hana-ssi?" Blinking in shock, a moment of silence passed before Hana jumped to her feet, greeting him with a bow and a confused expression.

"Namjoon-Oppa," Her eyes were wide but not with the usual excitement, instead, there was a hint of panic in her voice.


Only then did it cross Joon's mind that it might not have been entirely appropriate for him to impose of her out of the blue. His eyes drifted across the table laden with sweets and cakes, before landing on a middle-aged woman in a suit and an older gentleman- he was definitely older than Jin, if not already 40.


"It's a surprise to see you here." She spoke so formally that Joon couldn't help feeling discouraged. He had to physically prevent himself from looking hurt and confused.

"I'm sorry," he blurted, bowing regretfully, "I was just walking and it's been so long-,"

"Naekkeo, you didn't tell me you had such famous friends," The older man stood, one arm wrapping around Hana's waist and the other extending forward toward Joon. He accepted the gesture, but couldn't fight the way his brow furrowed. The man had called her 'Naekkeo', and the way he was holding her was so intimate... surely she wasn't in a relationship with him.


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