I've Changed

6. let the fun begin

~~~~

When my eyes landed on Jae Foster, my initial thought was, 'Fuck'. But not in the 'what the fuck is he doing here?' type of way. It's more of a 'what the fuck is he?'.

When I told him to change, I didn't mean for him to do so entirely. His demeanor alone seemed different because he just sits shyly in between his teammates, looking around so lost and flustered by them all.

As I greet the rest of the team, from the corner of my eye, he takes these deep breaths which as a result allows his shoulders and chest to enlarge. I thought his high school self was fit but I was wrong. His body has now become more toned and muscular. Perhaps, it's from all the years of training because he appears athletic, like any other professional in his sport.

His black hair is parted in the middle. It's messy all over and shorter but somehow put together in a way that makes the hairstyle effortless. The rest of his features pretty much has stayed the same but there is something that annoys me the most.

Once our gazes lock, I'm transported back in time and immediately hate it.

His eyes. The hazel ones that I've once admired.

Honestly, I've forgotten how they looked. But from one look, I can already notice the happiness and hope in them. The rainbows and unicorns—yuck.

I frown.

I can't believe that I've recognized that much about him already. It's as if my young and innocent self took over for a second in order to dwell on the past.

I scowl instead.

He must've noticed the shift in my mood, or the evident distasteful expression on my face. He reacts in a way that has him looking at me with concern, furrowed brows and all, which I almost lose my calm about because along with my hatred for men is pity.

I take a step back to give Coach Hale some space. For the meanwhile, as he speaks to the team, I get rid of my expression from before.

"Meet Ellie Miller."

Introductions happen in between blah blah blah. I realize Jae finds it really difficult to pay attention, to the front specifically, which truth be told amuses me.

After Coach leaves the room and hands over the rest of the meeting in my control, I explain what my job consists of and the plans moving forward—nothing important. However, throughout the whole time, I can't seem to fight the urge and be curious. As much as I hate myself for finding interest on a man, I can't help it!

I'd catch a glimpse of him now and then. I try to figure him out by a simple glance. Instead he confuses me more by him sitting with a hunched over posture and anxiety radiating off like wildfire. He reeks of scaredy cat and I may have laughed at him for it somewhere in the middle of my speech.

Now, it may seem like I'm the only stalker but he does it terribly. Because once he gains the courage, he doesn't stop staring and analyzing. Even as we approach the end of the meeting, he continues with curious glances and a thinking process/mechanism that occurs immediately after.

When I look at the clock, I see that I've spent nearly an hour talking to a group of dickheads. It causes me to roll my eyes at the effort. Their only talent is basketball and annoying the shit out of woman yet I manage to adore their humor either way because it's what I'm used to and some deep part of me misses it.

"That's all, can we go home now?" I joke, pointing at the door.

I see their mood shift from glum to ecstatic since they're able to leave the room after an hour of being trapped in it. Several of them welcome me with hugs and handshakes on their way out which I reciprocate quickly because similarly to them, I have places to be and stuff to do. I don't expect to stay longer and let the unease finally consume me. I've done a decent job of ignoring it.