I've Changed

53. It's all my fault

Jae's pov

When I put my phone away after texting Ellie, Elijah pats my shoulder and says, "She's coming." I look at Elijah, who grins, and then I look down at the floor, feeling perplexed and lost.

It hurt me to see Ellie leave this morning when I told her I loved her, but I expected it from the start, but it doesn't bother me as much because my feelings for her are too strong. I didn't mind that she left me out in the open, causing tension in our relationship, because now I have hope that she'll realize soon I'll always be there for her and that she's the only person I'll ever love. I'm hoping she knows she has someone who will comfort and care about her, because I'll go to any length to make her happy.

When the team went against her, it hurt me to see her anger and stress.I've never been disappointed with my team, especially when they've only told me about their exciting and amazing memories of Ellie. How they treat her as if she's their little sister, and how she cares about them as their intern and friend. The team adored her and appreciated everything she did, but it shocked me that because of their reputation in this tournament, they'd easily betray her. With her permanent frown and emotionless look on her face, I couldn't stand seeing her expression remain still in annoyance for the whole day.

I would do anything to break the door open when I heard her faint cries and screams, to hold her in my arms to console and comfort her, but I knew she needed time to herself. She's had her fill of me, and I believe I should give her some space before she regains herself.It's the right thing to do instead of pushing myself to come to her as I've been doing for the past few months. I believe she can come to me when she is ready, as I will be waiting.

"I want to resign," Lucas says, and we all turn to face him. Theo's eyes are wide open, allowing us to see every aspect of his pupil and green eyes, which glisten with shock. As I look blankly at Elijah, his hand runs down his face, and I understand Lucas' perspective. Our team does not feel like a team; rather, it feels like a group of individual tasks to complete. While we're on the court, we behave as though we care for each other and work well together as a team, yet once we're in the locker room, the mask crumbles and there's no celebration. It's gotten worse, particularly with the breakfast arguments, and some are even claiming that because I chose Ellie, I'm not thinking about the team's best interests.

"Basketball is no longer fun," Lucas says, and I nod, lowering my head, aware that this sport is becoming stressful and competitive. While that is the whole point of the game, I don't feel as relaxed or free as I usually do when I'm on the court; instead, I'm always concerned that the players will fail to cooperate and trust one another, as is currently the case. We no longer work as a team, which disappoints me because basketball, my dream, no longer feels like it.

"Look on the bright side," Theo says sheepishly, his arms draped over my and Lucas' shoulders. He frantically looks to Elijah for help, but as soon as a tray of orderves passes by us, he dashes towards them. "There's no bright side..." while a pout  appears on his face, Theo shakes his head, pulling his arms down to his sides. "Sofie will be mad about this."

"I told her about Ellie this morning and she's freaking out. I'm..." Theo says, looking in between me and Lucas as we share puzzled looks. "What's that emotion where my mouth tilts down like this?" he asks, pulling the corners of his lips downward to reveal a frown, and I shake my head, smiling at Theo's oddity.

"You're sad, Theo," Lucas says, Theo's head spinning to face him. Lucas takes a step back when he is alarmed by Theo's expression, and I am as well when his brows are lifted and he looks around like a lost puppy.

"Do you think I'm sad?" Theo pouts, and I purse my lips, unsure what to say because this isn't a normal emotion for him. He looks at me, and I nod reluctantly, watching his face lose the natural brightness and joy that he always exudes. "I need Sofie," he whines, his head resting on my shoulder as I awkwardly pat his back. My gaze wanders around the place, which reflects judgment and class. My stomach flips as the doors open for more guests to enter, and my head snaps to the familiar sight of her.