I've Changed

9. doesn't deserve them

~~~~

I walk around the hood of the car, listening to the beep as it locks. "Be careful," I remind Alex once I'm next to her.

"Be careful," she says to herself.

Muffled music can be heard from where we stood while disco lights flicker inside the tattered frat house. The front yard is littered with some garbage and nearly passed out guests. I hesitate to double check if they're doing well but I know better than to bother.

I peal my eyes away from the traumatizing scene and analyze Alex next to me. She takes a deep breath then gives me a tentative smile. "I haven't been to a party in a while."

That surprises me, yet most things about her does. From how long I've known her, she has always been closed-off with her life.

"Me, too." I admit. It's been too long since I've been to one and I really hope it will be the actual last one. However, for Alex's sake, I put my big girl pants on and suck it up for the night. "Let's find you Eric."

We step foot inside, and I already start to regret my decision. With Alex following closely behind, I push through the packed halls of hell quite determined to find her Prince Charming.

"Omg! Is that Ellie?" A random person practically yells from across the room. I give them a sheepish smile, the gesture falling once I turn my head. This must've caught a lot of the crowd's attention because they start greeting me. I try to politely return the favor but since it lacked the genuineness, I stop. Most of them are confused and even excited that I've finally appeared to a party since who knows when. I don't want to entertain their assumptions so I weave through them even faster. Hopefully, their drunken states will mistaken me for a ghost or one of their high hallucinations.

We manage to depart from the congested area. Once we're in a semi-open space, the strong odor of alcohol and weed becomes prominent. The mixture of scents has me spinning as if I'm reentering a dark place in my mind and playing around with the memories there.

I breathe. Blink.

I distract myself by looking around at the dry-humping couple in one corner, then at the intense game of beer pong in the other. People are shouting, singing, dancing, drinking. It's a classic college party that is undoubtedly hosted by Theo.

I face Alex who appears startled at first, especially at the hot make-out session from the couple. Her expression is a mixture of things that I can't identify immediately but she does ease into the environment faster than I can ever.

I scan the open layout of the place one more time, although the dim lighting and smoke makes it more difficult to notice much, until the curly head of Eric pokes out from the crowd.

"Look," I nudge Alex and guide her attention to him. It takes her awhile to recognize them but once she does a smile overtakes her face.

We approach our group of friends. Eric is accompanied by Aaron and Sofie who seem to realize us before him. Specifically, Sofie stares at me straight on with her eyebrows raised to her hairline. I shrug her evident shock because I'm not in the greatest mood to explain.

As if Eric can sense a certain someone, he turns and his smile beams. "Alex," The gentleman that he is, he pulls her close to his side into a hug yet she remains settled and satisfied in his embrace. Sofie excitedly greets her too, forcing Aaron to do the same, before she focuses on me again. Great.

"What?" I stand beside them while mindful of the many inquiring gazes of others. After all, it's been an irritating characteristic of the public that I've gotten used to over the years. Whether the intention is good or bad, I choose to ignore.