I've Changed

33. hurry up

Jae's pov

I tighten my grip on Ellie's body, only to realize it's just too soft to be a person. I open one eye sluggishly and gaze down at the pillow I'm hugging. I pat the bed next to me, hoping to feel her body, but all I get are scrunched-up sheets and comforter. My eyes slowly open, adjusting to the sweltering heat from the sun blazing through my window. My gaze wanders around the room, eventually settling on the empty bed, the quiet apartment, my clothes folded in the corner, and a glass of water and Advil on my side table.

Slowly, I rise, the pounding headache and blurry vision from dizziness sinking in. Knowing the exhausting night I had with Ellie, I take some Advil and drown myself in water. My face sinks into a frown as I scan the room for her.

After the breakup, I haven't felt happy or enjoyed myself until last night. Despite the fact that I was drunk and wasted, my thoughts kept returning to Ellie. The way her outfit clung to her body, my hands perfectly against her waist, and her body interacting with mine in so many ways makes me smile without thinking about it.

When I remember her smile, giggles, and moans from this morning, I get excited to see her, but when I glance over to my side, she's gone, and a frown appears on my face. Last night reminded me of how much I've missed her and how much time I've spent away from her. It makes me feel bad about wasting my time on someone who doesn't deserve the efforts and care than Ellie does. I should've spent these years with her, never leaving and comforting her, but I realise I'm responsible for the remorse and anger I've directed on myself because of Cassidy.

This week has been challenging for me, but Ellie helped me cope and forget about what had happened. Ellie is incredibly easy to relate to and trust because I now understand how she feels when I hurt her. I now know what I want and how I feel, but I suppress my feelings because I know it will never happen.

I sighed deeply before slowly rising to take a cold shower, which I desperately needed after my few minutes of reflection.

~

"You're avoiding her," Ashley says, pulling my gaze away from Ellie, who is conversing with Elijah across the room.

"No, I'm not," I claim, shaking my head, but she crosses her arms and lifts her brows in response.

"Yes you are"

"No I'm not"

"You are," she grits, and her eyes widen in annoyance, and her lips are pursed, and I almost flinch back in front of her.

"Fine," I exhale, focusing on my hands despite the fact that I'd been avoiding Ellie for the entire night of practice.

"You prefer her to wrap your shoulder," she says with a roll of her eyes, and I turn to face her. My eyes widen when I see Ellie approaching me and Ashley winks at me before rolling away in her chair to my teammate. Ellie walks to me with confidence and purpose, her gaze drawn to the clipboard in front of her.

"Up," she puts the clipboard next to me and assists me in pulling my shirt over my head. Her brows furrow until a smile hits her mouth, and she walks away to get the tape.

"Psst," I snap my head to Theo, as he points to my chest and neck with a dramatic gesture. When I look down, my eyes widen at the few hickies on my skin that I was about to cover and conceal, but instead I shrug because I know who did it.

"Is Jae Foster shy?" As she stands in front of me, Ellie says. My stomach flutters, my mouth becomes dry, and my leg starts to fidget in response to my nervousness in front of her. "We hooked up Jae, there's nothing to worry about."

"Hooked up?" I murmur, watching as her brows furrow and her head tilts. Hearing her words makes my heart sink, but what can I expect when it's true. "Yeah, so what if anyone finds out like Emily," I change the subject, drawing a laugh from Ellie as she examines my shoulder.