I've Changed

34. I'm happy

I go to Jae and Theo's house and knock on their doors. With a relieved expression on his face, Malcom swings the door open. He drags me, along with my suitcases and bags, inside. He furrows his brows, places his hands on his hips, and glares angrily at me. I roll my eyes before stumbling across Theo and Sofie as they leave the living room.

Malcom pulls me into a close embrace and exclaims, "Thank the goddesses you're here!" "You'd better get moving-"

"I got it," They silently follow me as I shake my head and make my way to Jae's room. When I turn to face them, they're creeping up behind me, causing me to roll my eyes.

"What are we doing?" Sofie hits Theo on the shoulder, causing him to scream "ow!"

When Malcom and Sofie send him a look, his face turns into a smirk, and his mouth opens into an O shape. I keep my smile hidden, knowing he's worried about the wrong thing, but I let it go.

"Do your magic," Malcom says as he rushes me to the door, but I give him a cold stare.

"You have to give him space, Malcom," I scoff as I approach Jae's door. "You can't expect him to get better after a three-year relationship."

"But he's got you now, and if we're going to make it to the airport, he's going to have to hurry his ass-" I give Malcom a scowl, which causes him to close his mouth and back away. Theo shoves his chest against Malcom's head, which causes Theo discomfort.

"Your head is too big," Theo grumbles, his eyes widening as Malcom pivots on his heel, glaring angrily at Theo.

"It's true," Sofie shrugs as she pulls Theo behind her, signaling Malcom to come to a halt as he prepares to pounce on her before waving me on.

I roll my eyes and slowly open Jae's door, noting the immediate darkness because his blinds are closed, there are no lights highlighting his room or from outside, and it's very quiet.

"Theo, what the fuck are you doing?" As I close the door, I hear Malcom behind it. When I look down, I see them slip a condom through the door's crevice, forcing me to kick it back underneath.

I roll my eyes as I hear Theo whisper at the door, "You need to stay safe," and I slowly walk towards the bed, where Jae sits on the edge.

"Jae," I crouch down and place my hand on his knee, trying to catch a glimpse of his burried face in his hands. Until his head tilts up to reach me, I glance at the journal tossed across the bed beside him. Even though the room is completely dim, I can see the sorrow and pain in his eyes as his teary eyes twinkle in the darkness.

"I'm so sorry," his eyes dart around my body, and I let his hands examine my arms and legs, as if he's concerned about my physical condition. I furrow my brows in apprehension as he exhales a sigh of relief, but his lips are etched with a frown. "I'm so sorry; I should have stayed with you instead of leaving. I should've been there for you these past years, supporting and comforting you in your darkest moments, but I remained stupid and chose someone I thought I loved-"

"Jae," I murmur, my hand resting on his cheek as he rambles. My heart breaks as I watch him crumble because of his horrible mistakes that pale in comparison to what I've gone through. "It's okay; the fact that you're working to fix it shows me that you've changed."

"Don't say it's all right because it isn't. You put your trust in me, and I betrayed you by leaving when I shouldn't have. You told me all of your secrets, but I was too selfish to care" He says, making my breath catch in my throat as I look at him, bewildered. "You're supposed to be mad at me, Ellie; I deserve to be screamed at, yelled at, and kicked at because I'm a dick to you."

"Jae," I whisper, cradling his cheeks in my hands and feeling the warmth radiate from his body.

"I want you to be happy, but how can I do that if I'm the one who is pulling you back? I'm the one who's causing you pain, and I'm the one who's hurting you to the point where you blame yourself for all of my mistakes when they're all my fault," As his words echo in my head, my stomach twists in guilt, and the clear anger in his words makes it harder for me to push the feelings away.